Some things bother me. You know this more than anyone from reading these blogs i post.
I'd like to say a few things about some morals I try to keep up.
Be honest:
I try to be honest as possible with people, but sometimes it hurts peoples feelings. So, when someones breath is nasty, I'm no one to say "Damn, don't you own mouthwash?" or "Brush your teeth" or "Your breath STINKS!"- This is where my creative side comes in. I say it as calmly and politely as possible while still getting my point across... I have been known to "beat around the bush" when doing this, and asking for things. That might be a pride thing, but I'm not to sure. So, with the 'bad breath' scenario, I'd offer them some gum, or something passive like that.
Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of times i say and do things without thinking, and it lands me into trouble, which then I have to ride out, or somehow weasel my way out of. I hate when situations come up where I cannot say it any nicer than it is. It bugs me, and then the "I don't want to offend you, but..."
If I am asked if I like your outfit, your hair, jewelry or tattoos, and I do not respond right away or at all, my answer is no. I do not. I'm not too fond of such dramatic, unexpected changes- it changes my happy little corner i like to live in, but then i become accustomed to it again, and see no issue anymore. I just think how it looked at first, and your hair cut looked funny. But now, It doesn't bother me because I'm used to it now.
So, if I stall when asked a question like that... I'm thinking of a way to articulate what I want to say. Which could be good or bad, especially when its phrased as a "What do you think about..." question. Well.... Your hair looks stupid. That piercing looks trashy, and your tattoo looks like something from a coloring book, as for your outfit, I'd have to ask if it was what was sitting on the top of the dirty clothes hamper. Instead, "Not a fan." will be the least rude thing about it.
Respecting others:
Respect your Elders- It was pounded into my head as a child. "Yes sir, no sir, yes maim, no maim" I learned it and nothing wows other parents and fellow adults more when my children say it. I expect them to respect everyone they meet. Now, this is tricky, because several people DEMAND respect without giving it. I figure, you have to give it to get it, because no one respects anyone for anything nowadays. It fricking sucks ass. I respect my co-workers for who they are. Race, religion and beliefs do not affect that. The way they treat people DO change that. I hear about guys calling women "bitches" or "fine ass ho's"- And I'm disgusted about it. Whats worse, is these naive girls go along with it! If i spoke to any women like that at that age, the taste would be slapped from my mouth. These vulgar things are said to them and they spread their legs for any boy who says, "Damn, girl. You fine!"- then wonder why their "soul mate" runs off with a little hussy after telling him your pregnant at age 15. Total WTF to me.
SELF respect.
This is where my opinion will differ with MANY of my friends, but ill start with the above statement.
Some poor souls feel no love from anyone, and when they do hear those disgusting pickup lines like "Damn, baby you so fine! Lemmie get yo numbuh!" They giggle and give up their number? I haven't seen ANY woman fall for that shit, thank God, but still, the fact that some guys think they are all cool and shit, using improper grammar, and vocal spelling (its a real thing. Look it up. It's in the "Myktionary", and the "Myklopedia") and are surprised when they scoff, or laugh in their faces. They know your game, homie. Hit it and quit it. Not to mention, with that one line, they can visualize the stimulating phone conversation with you repeating "You jus so fine baby. For real. Lemmie just say, you SO fine! You sound fine! Now suck my d***, Bitch."-- ?!?! Yeah, who doesn't want that in a man? (sarcasm) - So- I have respect for myself in several aspects. One is I do not want to pierce or tattoo myself. This is my personal choice just as it were anyone elses'. My thing is, I don't want to have a piercing somewhere, and have it get hung up on something, and rip out. The idea of having another hole in me grosses me out. And the gauged ears, grosses me out as well. Most piercings do gross me out. If the person looks good with it, ok. But not me. The thought of being 90 years old with my ears dangling to my shoulders freaks me out. I also don't want a tattoo for a similar reason. I don't want to have a tattoo that no longer describes me as a 90 year old man... And if i did, id want it to be something i know will never change... I know what your thinking now.... Get your name. -Witness protection program, stolen identity? Then i have a name that isn't mine anymore... My wife's name? I don't know what the future holds, but if something happens... and that changes... Then what? My kids' names? What if my kid decides to get a sex change at 21? (Even though I'd respect his decision) I'd have the name of my ex-son, current daughter, who has a different name. A band I like? I could hate that band tomorrow. Favorite animal? I have a new favorite next year. Some things wont change. But id rather remember them in my mind and on paper than on my skin.
Don't get me wrong. I admire those who sit through the pain to have a beautiful work of art on their body. The artist who puts the effort in creating a living work of art- it is admirable. But those people who get a tattoo that means nothing, its just getting one to fill in an empty spot on your sleeve... please... Think about it before you do it. You can cover it up, have it removed... it isn't like an eraser on a pencil. It hurts like hell. (from what i hear)--
In addition to Respecting others,
I will not ask someone to do anything unless I would do it myself. If i wouldn't jump into that dumpster, I don't expect anyone else to.
Dignity.
I don't really know the meaning of the word, it could tie into self respect, but instead of searching for it and being accurate, ill go at it on my opinion of what it is.
I don't give a rat's ass what people think of me a lot of the time. I don't care. Until i come face to face with it directly, from someone i encounter on a (almost) daily basis. That's why i sugar-coat things when talking to people. I may have to deal with them tomorrow and don't want to deal with their whiny bitch ass any more than i have too. I have done some stupid shit just based on this, like jumped in a dumpster on several occasions, hurting myself (during the "self-destructive Jackass" phase) But i want to go another way with it. I'm not going to sleep with everyone who says I'm cute, I'm not going to give people free shit because they give me the puppy eyes, or pouty face. It pisses me off when people expect it to work. I say fuck you, if you aren't willing to work for it, why do you think giving me the "poor pitiful me" look will make me give up what i worked for? Bite me lazy bum. I work hard for what i have, which isn't much already. I have a family to provide for, and you want my money? Take food out of my kids' mouths?! Not a chance. Ill castrate myself before i take food from my kids mouths, or allow anyone to do that.... If i work for it, you work for it too. If your too lazy to work, starve.
When someone is speaking to you, you shut your mouth and listen. ESPECIALLY when you expect them to listen to you speak. Communication works both ways. If you cut me off, ill irritate you until you shut the fuck up and listen to the rest of the sentence. I do not interrupt people when they speak to me. (i try not to) some will all out interrupt me when I'm talking with a full paragraph response to the 3 words Ive spoken so far. Respect me, i respect you too.
I see people with vanity plates, and some are as creative as a color by number coloring book that's already been colored. 2FST4U- really? That's going to get you a hilarious rep at a club, and you aren't going home with anyone when they see that plate. Minute man. Lots of those are so stupid, and uncreative, - when i see one like that, i think of them as an inconsiderate prick with no life and a wallet larger than they deserve. Similar thing with tattoos, some people get some stupid thing that has no meaning, just get a tat, to have a tat. Like it makes you hardcore. Uh, no... that cartoon butterfly on a 300 lb mans ankle isn't hardcore. Neither is that big ass word on your back in letters that are difficult to read. It looks like when you try to read a big breasted woman's shirt, and she gets pissed off because your looking at her chest. Well, if the text were easier to read.... I wouldn't have to STARE.
Understanding-
Before making judgment on someone, look at yourself. You are far from perfect. I know i am far from perfect too. Get to know someone before you decide you don't like them. Look at things in their perspective, see where they come from, feel their feels. I do this when writing scripts, and do this when listening to people talk to me. I try to see the world from their eyes, and sometimes i don't like it, but i still do it to better understand them. I think its a shame this isn't happening more often.
Trust.
I have a trust problem. I trust too much too soon. I don't expect to be lied to, because I try not to lie.
I mentioned this before, and my theory of trust: I trust people based on a dollar amount I'd loan them. In a way, i have had a base trust of $5. Now, i base it on $2. (which is the MAX I spend on a crane game) I don't mind losing $2 in a machine, nor do i mind risking it to see how much more i can trust them with. Some people I'd trust with $1, some $20. VERY few, I'd trust with my Debit card, car, wife AND children at the same time. Maybe I'm strange for that, but It works well for me so far. There are some people i wouldn't trust with a worn out sock....
When a deal is made, or a promise is made, I tend to be a man of my word 90% of the time. The 10% counts for the things i forget, the occasional time something comes up at the last minute...
I think i should apologize for some things being out of order, i wrote them down as they came to me.
Monday, February 24, 2014
Monday, February 17, 2014
A Confession.
Some things have been brought to my attention and some, if not most I am not proud of. Some are things I have noticed about myself, some make me proud, others not so much. For my whopping 10 regular readers, this blog may put some things in perspective about me that you hadn't known. Sense I'm the non controversial type, if it is a problem for you to read a few "pity party" things, feel free to ignore this blog. I will not hold it against you... Or even know...
As you may or may not know I'm father of two boys. My first son was not planned, but not prevented either. The Mrs. and I didn't fret because we had our families and were stable enough to care for him. Well I did one video for the mothers on Mothers' day and they loved it. So i did another video as a Christmas present, which I called "The Monkey Show" Starring my son as the Monkey. Typically in this movie would be like a movie... Trailer or two, a warning, opening sequence like in TV shows, and mixed up in it would mostly be holidays and events that took place that were missed by the other family members, like having to work for a birthday party, or a trip to the zoo things like that. Christmas presents and cookies, Halloween cookies and costumes, and just being silly and playing around, but still showing off his progression like learning to walk, talk, count- big stuff for him. Lots of firsts.
Well, With the year one DVD, I got a lot of compliments on how great it was. So cute, so funny, and feels like your right there with him every step of the way of his never ending journey of growing up.
I took that seriously, I loved doing it. It was so much fun to film him doing funny stuff and putting it together in a tasteful way that our family would enjoy.
I saw a commercial for a film school, and enrolled. It's in Arizona. So after consulting with the wife, we made our decision to move to AZ and get my degree in Film and Video Production. School hasn't been in for very long, and I lovingly jam out episode two without issues. Came out better than the first. Well then school curriculum got busy. Lots of homework, my skills were showing and soon I had so many side projects on my plate i had to put some aside. I had to start claiming to charge people so they would STOP asking me (with them being college students like me, in the learning phase, and no money was easy to shake people to think twice about it.) I didn't charge much, i forget the figures I gave for script doctoring and writing, but i was very affordable for a student's income.. At least i thought. I had to do it. I was spending so much time away from my boy and wife, and huddling up with the laptop during late hours of the night, trying to perfect a 10 page, unpaid script. I felt i should be paid for using my time to work, or even read the scripts. So I did. When the flow slowed to a halt, I refused payments willing to be made- people came to me because they heard "I was the guy to go to for script work." Which, honestly made me blush when i heard it the first time. So I go soft and tell them its a freebie. Favor returned in some cases.
I didn't like spending time away from my son, and in some sense I think he wouldn't understand. He still wants to spend time with him. With the full time job, school work, and side stuff, I have little to no energy to do much else. Creatively working is mentally taxing on anyone.
Well any way, when those odd-unpaid-jobs came about, i spaced on the MS. Third year deadline came and went, and I was no longer busy on odd-jobs, but playing a FB game. I wasted so much time on that stupid game. So many hours, days, holidays, time i could have used productively, instead i wasted them on that stupid game. I am ashamed of that. I didn't log on FB to check up on my friends, and see how things are going... I wanted to see if i needed to get a depot back before work and set a platoon to heal for the upcoming event. Priorities got so messed up, my base became more important than being with my son. I'm ashamed of myself for allowing that to happen. I found myself getting pissed off about petty shit, and taking it out on my family. But i still didn't want to quit... Then it got boring, it got more aggravating than fun, and finally it clicked... I quit. gave it up. I stopped caring about the game because it didn't care about me. My family cared about me and i ignored them for a stupid game. It's over now. the game is out of my life, and even with the rumors of nifty upgrades and neat bells and whistles, I refuse to log on it. I call it a Devil. It is stupid to be so uppity about a game where other players piss you off on purpose just for a laugh.
I realized now, that my boy is five, and my family have not seen his 3rd year DVD yet because of me and an addiction as well as other stressful things. I still have to release 3,4 and 5... Hopefully within the next 3 months... Here's hoping on that one.
I had a second son... Un planned, but while on birth control. The package was mislabeled so the wrong pill for the wrong day, and POOF! Mouth number 4 is here for me to feed. One out of diapers, one in them. I was hoping for a little stress releif from having to work so hard and make so little, but the job market is a cruel bitch in this town. For anything.
With two kids, and the newest being a digger, it is much more stressful than it used to be. And I was informed that it seems as though I blame my second son for being born. Well, he was the fastest swimmer of the team... He made it. It clicked, that I do blame him for being born. But, i blame him as if I hold it against him. Like he feels me being stressed out and knows on a subconcious level its because of him. Well, it isnt his existance that stresses me out, its that he wont listen. When he targets my stuff to destroy, I cant help but to think he hates me. It seems as though its always my movies he scratches, my mouse he loses, my drink he spills, my wires he unravels. I still love the little rugrat, but hes getting the wrong attention with these "destroying everything" stunts. With this guy, hes like 2 or 3 kids in one. and withmy oldest with him, he turns to 2 kids. so more like 5 kids worth of stress? I dont know. Maybe I'm an ass for thinking that. But its what is on my mind. I lose my cool easily with L, because i have to be on my toes 24/7 with him. with M, i can chill out and he will listen to what i tell him. He asks so many questions, and I like to answer them, when i know them anyway, or at least to the best of my knowledge. And seeing his face light up when I explain something as small as lights, or carbonation in a soda, it is priceless.
So, recently, My teamates moved away and any and all productions were put to a screeching halt. I'm bored as hell... I no longer play WC, and no one to make movies with... So I model stuff in C4D and do a little AE work for another friend of mine who likes my work, so I'm not bored ENTIRELY to tears, untill I am told i can take my time, and get it back- whenever. Its bothersome. I need a deadline, its part of my motivation. I dont like making tweaks when I consider it done... but i know it's gonna happen more times than I'll care to admit. Aside from that occasional modeling and effects, I start writing more scripts- well coming up wit ideas anyway. I get them started with a nice bang and a kid comes screaming by because his brother took his cereal... Soooo, now I'm out of the zone, and to keep writing, i have to get back IN the zone. As soon as i do... Another distraction, and another...
Your wondering now. Go to another room, right? It only works when the kid's cant reach the doorknob. Locking the door and having your headphones on full blast is the perfect way to get trapped in a burning apartment, or not know when theres an emergency... So, cell phone next to the computer, and a small sliver of FB dock for any messages - opening myself up to the outside world, but only through the channels I choose...
I want to get back to that- to a point. When I was a "script mack-daddy" Thats exactly what i did. Bought a desk specificly for that reason. I became so secluded from the family, I barely knew my wife anymore. (or so it seemed) So i planted my ass on the couch and we talked. So much, I stopped writing for a bit. Now, we still chat often, and i still writem i just have to find the balance of seclusion, work, and chat along with boys' time with daddy. So nothing is left out. I blog a lot more than i work on scripts now...
Within this month, some of my teamates have moved closer, and I have been offered to work on 3 scripts, readover and give formatting tips for another, and met two musical artists who are looking for videography work to be done, and another wants to write a story so i can make a script out of it. AND I am almost done with MS3. I want to add in the writing scripts in there too. I had to take some extra days off of work for classes for the next 10 weeks, but as of now, financialy, we can afford it comfortably. So i can fit in several things and hobbies within my free time, because my classes are gen eds. And from what i have heard, they are not to taxing in the homework feild, so... Les stress on two channels! I may be able to wind down and get a script or two done, short films done, and get the MS 3,4 and 5 out.
Well, with work in mind. When I first cam up here, i was told it was a mistake, and was told to go to another school, its not acredited, etc... Well, I could have. I looked, and I didn't want to stay. I needed more than what I was telling people. I needed an adventure of sorts. Adventure with a goal, (degree) a change of scenery. Some people got on my last nerve with the nagging. And I still went.
Well, to some people i suppose, water is thicker than blood. Some of our family has come here to visit us at least twice, and call atleast once a month. But not all of them. And it was from the part of my family who tried to get me to stay home, and not go and test out my "big boy" swimsuit in the ocean with the sharks. Heard from them twice in 4 years. Never came to visit. They know I love them, but I'm certian they do not care for my choice of field for my career. And I couldnt care less, if you dont like what I do for my career. But you not caring enough to pick up the phone and leave a voice mail? Come on... The phone works two ways. I wait for you to call me, because I feel the need of your acceptance, which at most points, i dont seem to get.
I am me. That is all I ever want to be, and if making movies is what this guy knows, then thats what this guy will do. Dont worry about us. If you want to know my kids. Get to know them. Dont wait untill its too late.
Being out in AZ hit hard, and gave me a smash of reality I ignored for so long. I learned more here about making it on our own than i did in TX. And I find it to be most important, we developed our own family traditions here. We make our ornaments by hand, to a theme, every year. We set up a weekly menu for dinners, and get groceries on Mondays, and budget for it as soon as my paystub comes in my email. What bills get paid now, and which ones will get the next check...
Not having a babysitter close by is the hardest - havent had a date-night in a VERY long time. I miss it. I know the Mrs. does too. We often talk about it, and we just cannot trust to many people around here, so it doesnt happen unless we bring them too. I'm thankfull for this. We have developed these things, and others just by being out on our own with no "911 call" for help from family. We deal with it and become more independent this way. I do not regret it.
Another strange thing i have noticed is fashion.
This kind of weirded me out at first... It's like I see an outfit somone is wearing... I like it. I sketch it.
Men, women, whatever, I try to remember it as it is, and sketch it as best as i can. I figure i could use a similar inspiration for costumes in films later. (the Mrs. told me that one) I thought i was being creepy, but I was just noticing something about an outfit that was modest, and tasteful, and attractive. Something I would allow my daughter to wear, even.
With the recent art history 1 clas, i have returned to my roots as a sketch artist. (add this to my hobbies) I need work on my prisma coloring technique, and i need to relax when sketching figures. Yes, I draw female figures, and yes, they are sometimes nudes. But I am not sketching them in a porographic way, or position. It is tasteful work.
Then again... it's all about perspective.
It is as the see'rs eyes preceive it.
People are going to see what they want to see...
Some thing else. With the failures of the MS, I feel as a failure, and with less time with my kids, i feel like ive been a bad father. I hear it all the time, "your a great dad", yeah, well be my son and we will see if your opinion changes. I think sometimes im doing wrong, but it isnt anything wrong with it.
I want to quit my job, i do. but I dont. I know i have to keep the bills paid, so I do what any other father and husband would do for his family... Cope. Put up with the crap to keep bills paid. Its hardly worth the effort anymore to keep working. It all goes away faster than i make it, and people are out there getting a free ride from hard working shmucks like me. Its bullshit. I feel like shit that I deal with the crap day after day, so the lazy jackass down the road can use his cash benifiets to get new rims on his escelade, while im struggling to keep up on diapers and oil changes.
I feel as if I failed as a son, failed as a husband, and as a father.
I know my parents want a good life for me, and dont want me to ostruggle, but thats part of the learning curve, is the struggle.
As a husband, i dont think i give my wife enough attention, and she feels responsible for all the finances, and feels bad about not having a job, and going to school, getting pregnant--- She thinks im mad at her about that stuff, but I'm only mad when worrying about it is nosupposed to be her concern. I bring the money in, i worr about the bills. You cannot pay rent on Sunday night at 3am. Relax. As a husband/wife team, we both have our own jobs we worry about. I worry about my job, money, bills schoolwork, the car, etc. I have control over that stuff.
She can worry about the kids, and the house and what-not, because she has control over it more than i do. It isnt intended to be sexist, but i can see where that comment would come into play. its the situation. If she had the job, and i didn't, the roles would be reversed. She can worry about the rent THEN. And another part of that team, is comunication, and honesty IN comunication. We talk it out. We do not see eye to eye on everything, but we discuss it and wheigh pros and cons, whatever it takes, then make the choice from there. I lost track of how many times she tried to tell me something, and i was so involved, i didn't listen on purpose. When I come back to reality... I tell her "Sorry, I wasn't listening... What were you saying?" or a "Hold that thought... Busy atm."- She is more thankfull that i am honest, than pretending i heard her. I'm thinking it strengthens a relationship by being honest about everything. if you cant be honest with your spouse, then who can you be honest with?
As a dad... I sometimes feel it. Just feel like im a bad father. Maybe its when they are bad and i need to punish them, and they cry. I have to pretend to not care when they cry about being in trouble. They need to know, I won't be suckered by tears.
I most likely am exagerating on that. But i feel it sometimes, and my heart sinks a bit. and a gloomy cloud hovers over my head.
Other times I feel as though I deserve a little more for all I do. I cant help but to feel jipped.
I think this pity party has gone on long enough. Maybe you learned somethings about me you werent expecting, or maybe i was stating the obvious, or maybe a light went off in your head to do something.
I do want to make another statement:
I am a father of two who worked full time and got a 3.1 GPA in college 18,000 miles away from home.
If that doesnt sum me up in a sentence...
I am curious of who is reading these blogs. If you would like to leave a comment or like the status, your obviously more than welcome to do so, and if you think someone else might get something out of these, feel free to share it too. Thanks.
As you may or may not know I'm father of two boys. My first son was not planned, but not prevented either. The Mrs. and I didn't fret because we had our families and were stable enough to care for him. Well I did one video for the mothers on Mothers' day and they loved it. So i did another video as a Christmas present, which I called "The Monkey Show" Starring my son as the Monkey. Typically in this movie would be like a movie... Trailer or two, a warning, opening sequence like in TV shows, and mixed up in it would mostly be holidays and events that took place that were missed by the other family members, like having to work for a birthday party, or a trip to the zoo things like that. Christmas presents and cookies, Halloween cookies and costumes, and just being silly and playing around, but still showing off his progression like learning to walk, talk, count- big stuff for him. Lots of firsts.
Well, With the year one DVD, I got a lot of compliments on how great it was. So cute, so funny, and feels like your right there with him every step of the way of his never ending journey of growing up.
I took that seriously, I loved doing it. It was so much fun to film him doing funny stuff and putting it together in a tasteful way that our family would enjoy.
I saw a commercial for a film school, and enrolled. It's in Arizona. So after consulting with the wife, we made our decision to move to AZ and get my degree in Film and Video Production. School hasn't been in for very long, and I lovingly jam out episode two without issues. Came out better than the first. Well then school curriculum got busy. Lots of homework, my skills were showing and soon I had so many side projects on my plate i had to put some aside. I had to start claiming to charge people so they would STOP asking me (with them being college students like me, in the learning phase, and no money was easy to shake people to think twice about it.) I didn't charge much, i forget the figures I gave for script doctoring and writing, but i was very affordable for a student's income.. At least i thought. I had to do it. I was spending so much time away from my boy and wife, and huddling up with the laptop during late hours of the night, trying to perfect a 10 page, unpaid script. I felt i should be paid for using my time to work, or even read the scripts. So I did. When the flow slowed to a halt, I refused payments willing to be made- people came to me because they heard "I was the guy to go to for script work." Which, honestly made me blush when i heard it the first time. So I go soft and tell them its a freebie. Favor returned in some cases.
I didn't like spending time away from my son, and in some sense I think he wouldn't understand. He still wants to spend time with him. With the full time job, school work, and side stuff, I have little to no energy to do much else. Creatively working is mentally taxing on anyone.
Well any way, when those odd-unpaid-jobs came about, i spaced on the MS. Third year deadline came and went, and I was no longer busy on odd-jobs, but playing a FB game. I wasted so much time on that stupid game. So many hours, days, holidays, time i could have used productively, instead i wasted them on that stupid game. I am ashamed of that. I didn't log on FB to check up on my friends, and see how things are going... I wanted to see if i needed to get a depot back before work and set a platoon to heal for the upcoming event. Priorities got so messed up, my base became more important than being with my son. I'm ashamed of myself for allowing that to happen. I found myself getting pissed off about petty shit, and taking it out on my family. But i still didn't want to quit... Then it got boring, it got more aggravating than fun, and finally it clicked... I quit. gave it up. I stopped caring about the game because it didn't care about me. My family cared about me and i ignored them for a stupid game. It's over now. the game is out of my life, and even with the rumors of nifty upgrades and neat bells and whistles, I refuse to log on it. I call it a Devil. It is stupid to be so uppity about a game where other players piss you off on purpose just for a laugh.
I realized now, that my boy is five, and my family have not seen his 3rd year DVD yet because of me and an addiction as well as other stressful things. I still have to release 3,4 and 5... Hopefully within the next 3 months... Here's hoping on that one.
I had a second son... Un planned, but while on birth control. The package was mislabeled so the wrong pill for the wrong day, and POOF! Mouth number 4 is here for me to feed. One out of diapers, one in them. I was hoping for a little stress releif from having to work so hard and make so little, but the job market is a cruel bitch in this town. For anything.
With two kids, and the newest being a digger, it is much more stressful than it used to be. And I was informed that it seems as though I blame my second son for being born. Well, he was the fastest swimmer of the team... He made it. It clicked, that I do blame him for being born. But, i blame him as if I hold it against him. Like he feels me being stressed out and knows on a subconcious level its because of him. Well, it isnt his existance that stresses me out, its that he wont listen. When he targets my stuff to destroy, I cant help but to think he hates me. It seems as though its always my movies he scratches, my mouse he loses, my drink he spills, my wires he unravels. I still love the little rugrat, but hes getting the wrong attention with these "destroying everything" stunts. With this guy, hes like 2 or 3 kids in one. and withmy oldest with him, he turns to 2 kids. so more like 5 kids worth of stress? I dont know. Maybe I'm an ass for thinking that. But its what is on my mind. I lose my cool easily with L, because i have to be on my toes 24/7 with him. with M, i can chill out and he will listen to what i tell him. He asks so many questions, and I like to answer them, when i know them anyway, or at least to the best of my knowledge. And seeing his face light up when I explain something as small as lights, or carbonation in a soda, it is priceless.
So, recently, My teamates moved away and any and all productions were put to a screeching halt. I'm bored as hell... I no longer play WC, and no one to make movies with... So I model stuff in C4D and do a little AE work for another friend of mine who likes my work, so I'm not bored ENTIRELY to tears, untill I am told i can take my time, and get it back- whenever. Its bothersome. I need a deadline, its part of my motivation. I dont like making tweaks when I consider it done... but i know it's gonna happen more times than I'll care to admit. Aside from that occasional modeling and effects, I start writing more scripts- well coming up wit ideas anyway. I get them started with a nice bang and a kid comes screaming by because his brother took his cereal... Soooo, now I'm out of the zone, and to keep writing, i have to get back IN the zone. As soon as i do... Another distraction, and another...
Your wondering now. Go to another room, right? It only works when the kid's cant reach the doorknob. Locking the door and having your headphones on full blast is the perfect way to get trapped in a burning apartment, or not know when theres an emergency... So, cell phone next to the computer, and a small sliver of FB dock for any messages - opening myself up to the outside world, but only through the channels I choose...
I want to get back to that- to a point. When I was a "script mack-daddy" Thats exactly what i did. Bought a desk specificly for that reason. I became so secluded from the family, I barely knew my wife anymore. (or so it seemed) So i planted my ass on the couch and we talked. So much, I stopped writing for a bit. Now, we still chat often, and i still writem i just have to find the balance of seclusion, work, and chat along with boys' time with daddy. So nothing is left out. I blog a lot more than i work on scripts now...
Within this month, some of my teamates have moved closer, and I have been offered to work on 3 scripts, readover and give formatting tips for another, and met two musical artists who are looking for videography work to be done, and another wants to write a story so i can make a script out of it. AND I am almost done with MS3. I want to add in the writing scripts in there too. I had to take some extra days off of work for classes for the next 10 weeks, but as of now, financialy, we can afford it comfortably. So i can fit in several things and hobbies within my free time, because my classes are gen eds. And from what i have heard, they are not to taxing in the homework feild, so... Les stress on two channels! I may be able to wind down and get a script or two done, short films done, and get the MS 3,4 and 5 out.
Well, with work in mind. When I first cam up here, i was told it was a mistake, and was told to go to another school, its not acredited, etc... Well, I could have. I looked, and I didn't want to stay. I needed more than what I was telling people. I needed an adventure of sorts. Adventure with a goal, (degree) a change of scenery. Some people got on my last nerve with the nagging. And I still went.
Well, to some people i suppose, water is thicker than blood. Some of our family has come here to visit us at least twice, and call atleast once a month. But not all of them. And it was from the part of my family who tried to get me to stay home, and not go and test out my "big boy" swimsuit in the ocean with the sharks. Heard from them twice in 4 years. Never came to visit. They know I love them, but I'm certian they do not care for my choice of field for my career. And I couldnt care less, if you dont like what I do for my career. But you not caring enough to pick up the phone and leave a voice mail? Come on... The phone works two ways. I wait for you to call me, because I feel the need of your acceptance, which at most points, i dont seem to get.
I am me. That is all I ever want to be, and if making movies is what this guy knows, then thats what this guy will do. Dont worry about us. If you want to know my kids. Get to know them. Dont wait untill its too late.
Being out in AZ hit hard, and gave me a smash of reality I ignored for so long. I learned more here about making it on our own than i did in TX. And I find it to be most important, we developed our own family traditions here. We make our ornaments by hand, to a theme, every year. We set up a weekly menu for dinners, and get groceries on Mondays, and budget for it as soon as my paystub comes in my email. What bills get paid now, and which ones will get the next check...
Not having a babysitter close by is the hardest - havent had a date-night in a VERY long time. I miss it. I know the Mrs. does too. We often talk about it, and we just cannot trust to many people around here, so it doesnt happen unless we bring them too. I'm thankfull for this. We have developed these things, and others just by being out on our own with no "911 call" for help from family. We deal with it and become more independent this way. I do not regret it.
Another strange thing i have noticed is fashion.
This kind of weirded me out at first... It's like I see an outfit somone is wearing... I like it. I sketch it.
Men, women, whatever, I try to remember it as it is, and sketch it as best as i can. I figure i could use a similar inspiration for costumes in films later. (the Mrs. told me that one) I thought i was being creepy, but I was just noticing something about an outfit that was modest, and tasteful, and attractive. Something I would allow my daughter to wear, even.
With the recent art history 1 clas, i have returned to my roots as a sketch artist. (add this to my hobbies) I need work on my prisma coloring technique, and i need to relax when sketching figures. Yes, I draw female figures, and yes, they are sometimes nudes. But I am not sketching them in a porographic way, or position. It is tasteful work.
Then again... it's all about perspective.
It is as the see'rs eyes preceive it.
People are going to see what they want to see...
Some thing else. With the failures of the MS, I feel as a failure, and with less time with my kids, i feel like ive been a bad father. I hear it all the time, "your a great dad", yeah, well be my son and we will see if your opinion changes. I think sometimes im doing wrong, but it isnt anything wrong with it.
I want to quit my job, i do. but I dont. I know i have to keep the bills paid, so I do what any other father and husband would do for his family... Cope. Put up with the crap to keep bills paid. Its hardly worth the effort anymore to keep working. It all goes away faster than i make it, and people are out there getting a free ride from hard working shmucks like me. Its bullshit. I feel like shit that I deal with the crap day after day, so the lazy jackass down the road can use his cash benifiets to get new rims on his escelade, while im struggling to keep up on diapers and oil changes.
I feel as if I failed as a son, failed as a husband, and as a father.
I know my parents want a good life for me, and dont want me to ostruggle, but thats part of the learning curve, is the struggle.
As a husband, i dont think i give my wife enough attention, and she feels responsible for all the finances, and feels bad about not having a job, and going to school, getting pregnant--- She thinks im mad at her about that stuff, but I'm only mad when worrying about it is nosupposed to be her concern. I bring the money in, i worr about the bills. You cannot pay rent on Sunday night at 3am. Relax. As a husband/wife team, we both have our own jobs we worry about. I worry about my job, money, bills schoolwork, the car, etc. I have control over that stuff.
She can worry about the kids, and the house and what-not, because she has control over it more than i do. It isnt intended to be sexist, but i can see where that comment would come into play. its the situation. If she had the job, and i didn't, the roles would be reversed. She can worry about the rent THEN. And another part of that team, is comunication, and honesty IN comunication. We talk it out. We do not see eye to eye on everything, but we discuss it and wheigh pros and cons, whatever it takes, then make the choice from there. I lost track of how many times she tried to tell me something, and i was so involved, i didn't listen on purpose. When I come back to reality... I tell her "Sorry, I wasn't listening... What were you saying?" or a "Hold that thought... Busy atm."- She is more thankfull that i am honest, than pretending i heard her. I'm thinking it strengthens a relationship by being honest about everything. if you cant be honest with your spouse, then who can you be honest with?
As a dad... I sometimes feel it. Just feel like im a bad father. Maybe its when they are bad and i need to punish them, and they cry. I have to pretend to not care when they cry about being in trouble. They need to know, I won't be suckered by tears.
I most likely am exagerating on that. But i feel it sometimes, and my heart sinks a bit. and a gloomy cloud hovers over my head.
Other times I feel as though I deserve a little more for all I do. I cant help but to feel jipped.
I think this pity party has gone on long enough. Maybe you learned somethings about me you werent expecting, or maybe i was stating the obvious, or maybe a light went off in your head to do something.
I do want to make another statement:
I am a father of two who worked full time and got a 3.1 GPA in college 18,000 miles away from home.
If that doesnt sum me up in a sentence...
I am curious of who is reading these blogs. If you would like to leave a comment or like the status, your obviously more than welcome to do so, and if you think someone else might get something out of these, feel free to share it too. Thanks.
Saturday, February 15, 2014
People and their laziness and stupidity.
Today, my nerves are on serious edge. I'm twitchy, and easily agitated. Some reasons I really don't know, but some come from events of today.
How are you going to go to a fast food place, and specifically request ALL of your order to be fresh?
-_- Why did you come to FAST food, requesting it to be fresh... Think its a fair request? Not how i see it.
All the food served out IS FRESH. If you didn't taste it then, you won't taste it now. And if you specifically say it, my bigger question is "Why didn't you make it exactly how you want it at home?" Its a LOT cheaper, and you can make it to your exact specifications. I know this, because i have done it at home several times. Burger patties can be $10 for 10 patties, Buns are cheap and are in packs of 8 or 10, veggies and condiments are cheap. Now, you can get 2 burgers, 2 sides and 2 drinks for about 10 bucks. See the savings ALREADY on meat alone? You can use the money on 10 potential burgers (of great tasting quality, mind you.) or get one meal that MIGHT fill you up. What? Chili cheese fries is your thing? Frozen fries in the frozen food section is a few bucks. Shredded cheese and a can of chili. Fry your fries in your "fry daddy" or w/e else you can fry in, put it in a pan, pour your heated chili on top of the fries, and toss on some shredded cheese on it, and put it in your oven on 350 until cheese is melted. AND you have a serving larger than 3 large chili cheese fries. You can get full on half of that alone. Or have burgers AND CCFries for two or three. You will spend a lot of money on fast food and why? Because its convenient?
Your willing to get in your car, drive here, and pay $3 for a grilled cheese, and drive home? Get out the skillet and make 2 or 3 of them. get full.
There is no meal better than one you make yourself. (unless your just THAT BAD of a cook)
Dishes. Okay, that's a drawback. But gee whiz, letting the thought of cleaning a few dishes sway you to spend your gas, time and money on a nutrition less, fake-filling, preservative loaded, over-priced meal?
Someone has to do the dishes, and if you clean as you go, the end of them won't be so bad. Home baked birthday cake out of the oven, personalized to perfection... Or:
A cold, pre-made cold cake with "Happy Birthday" only on it, that could be for me, you, kid next door... anyone.
I prefer to bake my kid's cake myself. I have done it for the last 4 years of his life. And my dad did his first one. I hate the pre-made finished crap. so impersonal. like store bought cards with $10 in it. like saying "Hey, this was a card i thought you would like, and $10 because i don't know you well enough to get you something you like, and I'd feel bad if i just sent you a card, or nothing at all, so HERE YA GO!"
Sometimes, its the better option, especially with postage on a package- yikes. Its cheaper to send a card and a gift card than a big box that could get swiped. Just a tip for that- Jerks look for those "Happy Birthday" cards, they know there's money. So tampering with the mail is not a big deal when it comes to getting a hold of Jimmy's birthday card from Grandma. Money spends no matter where it came from.
I like knowing whats in it. I want to know whats going on, and if i feel comfortable enough to do it myself, i will. If i were more comfortable changing my oil and rotating my own tires, I'd do it myself. Save money. if your not comfortable enough to get a skillet and make a grilled cheese sandwich, or a pre-made hamburger patty on a George Foreman or a skillet, or an open flame grill...
Maybe you should eat all the fast food you can... Overload your body with all the preservatives and oils until you want to sleep all day, and then you'll be so bad, you'll call the stores and complain that they don't deliver your $40 order to your door. Or your $5 order.
Don't be so lazy guys, don't eat yourselves into an early grave just because it's there.
Sweets, I love them. Ill eat cakes cookies, all kinds of stuff, (expert candy. Never really was a big candy eater) But fast food, i have been trying to veer away from as much as possible. Because i hate the way it makes me feel when i eat it. I feel tired, fake full, bloated, and hungry in 2 hours.
When people ask for fresh shit, that's what goes through my mind. In a split second; half mental, half oral, but all there. As getting the request, you think "that's your job, just do it" I say to you" you want fresh food? I want fresh money off the press. Go home it make it your own GD self."
I'm a smart ass about it too. To make your bacon burritos, I will harvest the flour and make the tortilla. Then ill milk the cow and make the cheese, and shred it for you. THEN ill slaughter a fresh-born piglet (its FRESH right?) for your bacon, and pull the eggs fresh out the chicken's ass, and cook it ALL fresh... FOR YOU.
Look, a-hole. I have procedures i have to follow. And one of those is to keep orders under 2 minutes. and all this "fresh" shit your bitching about, will take longer than that, and you are not the only customer waiting on their order. Don't be selfish and waste a cooks time because your too lazy to make it yourself, but too picky to leave that comment out. Our curb time may not mean anything to you, but to us, if our times are bad, we hear about it and people have lost their jobs because of that number being too high.
We know fast food. Let us do our job, you do yours.
Something in your food? That is a common problem. (Unless you made it yourself)
I thank the customers who come in and calmly tell us they found a bread tie in their burger, or their food was made wrong.
Those people understand that shit happens. We take care of those customers because we want them to come back, and not be discouraged from ordering that item again.
To the pricks who FREAK THE HELL OUT about it- It will get you nowhere. Being all pissy about it will only piss the cook off and make him want to hork in it even more than he already wanted too. Ever see the movie "Waiting..."? Cardinal Rule: Don't fuck with people who handle your food.
We satisfy your grumpy ass to get you the fuck out of there and pray you never come back.
Those people never worked fast food a day in their lives. They will never understand where the fast food industry comes from.
It is a stressful job, and very demanding for such low pay. (granted there are much more demanding and stressful jobs out there, I'm just stating it isn't as easy as it seems)
Maybe we can say to them "you know so much about fast food... please! come back to the kitchen, and 'LEARN' me to do it."
You get a coupon anyway, but don't come in and LIE to get free stuff. That is just low. Not to mention stealing. The poor little waiter/waitress making BELOW minimum wage (due to tips) has to pay any missing money out of their tips (if any) and if that isn't enough, it comes out of their pocket, and if THAT isn't enough, its out of their check... Or they are fired. I'm not sure exactly, I have seen all of those happen.
Being lazy at work is quite another species of laziness.
You are paid to do a job, and if someone has to go behind you and do your job FOR you, then that someone should be making the same or more than you...
I work hard the time i am there, and you are going to strut around like your hot shit with your big check and clean hands, while I'm laying in the mud at minimum wage? Piss off!
And got the nerve to tell me to do YOUR job because it makes your life easier? I say again... PISS OFF!
Sometimes I'd like to kick a fool in the throat, and laugh as you gasp for air.
And lets not forget the childish antics of hiding things from your coworkers. Hiding stuff your coworkers need to do there job? Would you hide a mechanics socket set? Would you replace a surgeon's scalpel with crayola scissors? Neither would I, but some people would find it remarkably funny.
Don't be a baby because I question your ability to be Mr. Fix-it. It isn't my fault your idea of repairing something contains the same logic of a cave man with a rock.
Stocking is EVERYones job in fast food. EVERYONE's Cleaning too. Managers stock and clean too. They are paid to do it BETTER than the rest of the crew. I have seen both sides, day crew, and night.
Night says day crew is lazy and doesn't stock. So they don't think they should have to. Day crew says the EXACT same thing, with the same outcome. Both are lazy because they don't stock, and to teach them a lesson, they wont stock for the other. So no one stocks. But me and 2 other people.
Funny enough though, when I stock, the next day, it is stocked! OMG! Its a freaking miracle!
No, its logic. Set an example, do what you want done.... And it will be done as well. I throw the logic at them all the time, and it doesn't get through. Just stock. Its already your job. Just freaking do it.
How are you going to go to a fast food place, and specifically request ALL of your order to be fresh?
-_- Why did you come to FAST food, requesting it to be fresh... Think its a fair request? Not how i see it.
All the food served out IS FRESH. If you didn't taste it then, you won't taste it now. And if you specifically say it, my bigger question is "Why didn't you make it exactly how you want it at home?" Its a LOT cheaper, and you can make it to your exact specifications. I know this, because i have done it at home several times. Burger patties can be $10 for 10 patties, Buns are cheap and are in packs of 8 or 10, veggies and condiments are cheap. Now, you can get 2 burgers, 2 sides and 2 drinks for about 10 bucks. See the savings ALREADY on meat alone? You can use the money on 10 potential burgers (of great tasting quality, mind you.) or get one meal that MIGHT fill you up. What? Chili cheese fries is your thing? Frozen fries in the frozen food section is a few bucks. Shredded cheese and a can of chili. Fry your fries in your "fry daddy" or w/e else you can fry in, put it in a pan, pour your heated chili on top of the fries, and toss on some shredded cheese on it, and put it in your oven on 350 until cheese is melted. AND you have a serving larger than 3 large chili cheese fries. You can get full on half of that alone. Or have burgers AND CCFries for two or three. You will spend a lot of money on fast food and why? Because its convenient?
Your willing to get in your car, drive here, and pay $3 for a grilled cheese, and drive home? Get out the skillet and make 2 or 3 of them. get full.
There is no meal better than one you make yourself. (unless your just THAT BAD of a cook)
Dishes. Okay, that's a drawback. But gee whiz, letting the thought of cleaning a few dishes sway you to spend your gas, time and money on a nutrition less, fake-filling, preservative loaded, over-priced meal?
Someone has to do the dishes, and if you clean as you go, the end of them won't be so bad. Home baked birthday cake out of the oven, personalized to perfection... Or:
A cold, pre-made cold cake with "Happy Birthday" only on it, that could be for me, you, kid next door... anyone.
I prefer to bake my kid's cake myself. I have done it for the last 4 years of his life. And my dad did his first one. I hate the pre-made finished crap. so impersonal. like store bought cards with $10 in it. like saying "Hey, this was a card i thought you would like, and $10 because i don't know you well enough to get you something you like, and I'd feel bad if i just sent you a card, or nothing at all, so HERE YA GO!"
Sometimes, its the better option, especially with postage on a package- yikes. Its cheaper to send a card and a gift card than a big box that could get swiped. Just a tip for that- Jerks look for those "Happy Birthday" cards, they know there's money. So tampering with the mail is not a big deal when it comes to getting a hold of Jimmy's birthday card from Grandma. Money spends no matter where it came from.
I like knowing whats in it. I want to know whats going on, and if i feel comfortable enough to do it myself, i will. If i were more comfortable changing my oil and rotating my own tires, I'd do it myself. Save money. if your not comfortable enough to get a skillet and make a grilled cheese sandwich, or a pre-made hamburger patty on a George Foreman or a skillet, or an open flame grill...
Maybe you should eat all the fast food you can... Overload your body with all the preservatives and oils until you want to sleep all day, and then you'll be so bad, you'll call the stores and complain that they don't deliver your $40 order to your door. Or your $5 order.
Don't be so lazy guys, don't eat yourselves into an early grave just because it's there.
Sweets, I love them. Ill eat cakes cookies, all kinds of stuff, (expert candy. Never really was a big candy eater) But fast food, i have been trying to veer away from as much as possible. Because i hate the way it makes me feel when i eat it. I feel tired, fake full, bloated, and hungry in 2 hours.
When people ask for fresh shit, that's what goes through my mind. In a split second; half mental, half oral, but all there. As getting the request, you think "that's your job, just do it" I say to you" you want fresh food? I want fresh money off the press. Go home it make it your own GD self."
I'm a smart ass about it too. To make your bacon burritos, I will harvest the flour and make the tortilla. Then ill milk the cow and make the cheese, and shred it for you. THEN ill slaughter a fresh-born piglet (its FRESH right?) for your bacon, and pull the eggs fresh out the chicken's ass, and cook it ALL fresh... FOR YOU.
Look, a-hole. I have procedures i have to follow. And one of those is to keep orders under 2 minutes. and all this "fresh" shit your bitching about, will take longer than that, and you are not the only customer waiting on their order. Don't be selfish and waste a cooks time because your too lazy to make it yourself, but too picky to leave that comment out. Our curb time may not mean anything to you, but to us, if our times are bad, we hear about it and people have lost their jobs because of that number being too high.
We know fast food. Let us do our job, you do yours.
Something in your food? That is a common problem. (Unless you made it yourself)
I thank the customers who come in and calmly tell us they found a bread tie in their burger, or their food was made wrong.
Those people understand that shit happens. We take care of those customers because we want them to come back, and not be discouraged from ordering that item again.
To the pricks who FREAK THE HELL OUT about it- It will get you nowhere. Being all pissy about it will only piss the cook off and make him want to hork in it even more than he already wanted too. Ever see the movie "Waiting..."? Cardinal Rule: Don't fuck with people who handle your food.
We satisfy your grumpy ass to get you the fuck out of there and pray you never come back.
Those people never worked fast food a day in their lives. They will never understand where the fast food industry comes from.
It is a stressful job, and very demanding for such low pay. (granted there are much more demanding and stressful jobs out there, I'm just stating it isn't as easy as it seems)
Maybe we can say to them "you know so much about fast food... please! come back to the kitchen, and 'LEARN' me to do it."
You get a coupon anyway, but don't come in and LIE to get free stuff. That is just low. Not to mention stealing. The poor little waiter/waitress making BELOW minimum wage (due to tips) has to pay any missing money out of their tips (if any) and if that isn't enough, it comes out of their pocket, and if THAT isn't enough, its out of their check... Or they are fired. I'm not sure exactly, I have seen all of those happen.
Being lazy at work is quite another species of laziness.
You are paid to do a job, and if someone has to go behind you and do your job FOR you, then that someone should be making the same or more than you...
I work hard the time i am there, and you are going to strut around like your hot shit with your big check and clean hands, while I'm laying in the mud at minimum wage? Piss off!
And got the nerve to tell me to do YOUR job because it makes your life easier? I say again... PISS OFF!
Sometimes I'd like to kick a fool in the throat, and laugh as you gasp for air.
And lets not forget the childish antics of hiding things from your coworkers. Hiding stuff your coworkers need to do there job? Would you hide a mechanics socket set? Would you replace a surgeon's scalpel with crayola scissors? Neither would I, but some people would find it remarkably funny.
Don't be a baby because I question your ability to be Mr. Fix-it. It isn't my fault your idea of repairing something contains the same logic of a cave man with a rock.
Stocking is EVERYones job in fast food. EVERYONE's Cleaning too. Managers stock and clean too. They are paid to do it BETTER than the rest of the crew. I have seen both sides, day crew, and night.
Night says day crew is lazy and doesn't stock. So they don't think they should have to. Day crew says the EXACT same thing, with the same outcome. Both are lazy because they don't stock, and to teach them a lesson, they wont stock for the other. So no one stocks. But me and 2 other people.
Funny enough though, when I stock, the next day, it is stocked! OMG! Its a freaking miracle!
No, its logic. Set an example, do what you want done.... And it will be done as well. I throw the logic at them all the time, and it doesn't get through. Just stock. Its already your job. Just freaking do it.
Friday, February 14, 2014
Nightmare!
Some people would just call this a dream, but it was a nightmare to me.
I was at work.
one of our tables was replaced with a smaller, shorter table; completely unsuitable for the job.
I complained and nothing was done. Walking through the door, I ended up at the **** games. My version of them any way. Like a fast-food Olympics. O.O
I participated with a team i did not recognize, but the lady beside me tried to help. We competed against 9 other stores, (we were #9) and one behind us.
i got out an onion ring. and dropped 2 mozzarella sticks on the floor. the lady helped me find 2 extra sticks and got that out.
It was over, a guy from team #8 turned to me and said and team # 10 beat everyone.
team #10 was 2 people, on laptops.
One was a friend from school, and the other was Will Smith. Wearing headphones.
Thank goodness i woke up after that.
-_-
I was at work.
one of our tables was replaced with a smaller, shorter table; completely unsuitable for the job.
I complained and nothing was done. Walking through the door, I ended up at the **** games. My version of them any way. Like a fast-food Olympics. O.O
I participated with a team i did not recognize, but the lady beside me tried to help. We competed against 9 other stores, (we were #9) and one behind us.
i got out an onion ring. and dropped 2 mozzarella sticks on the floor. the lady helped me find 2 extra sticks and got that out.
It was over, a guy from team #8 turned to me and said and team # 10 beat everyone.
team #10 was 2 people, on laptops.
One was a friend from school, and the other was Will Smith. Wearing headphones.
Thank goodness i woke up after that.
-_-
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Opinions on Factors of Intelligence.
Interesting topic of discussion with a coworker tonight during some down time. As brief as it was, a lot was covered.
Topic was, as you see in title, Intelligence.
It has been rumored for a long time that classical music helps infants with their intelligence, which I believe. But i didn't think it had an influence on adults intelligence as well....
I listen to classical music because it calms me. Settles me. It is remarkably beautiful to my ears and my mind.
Either way, I feel as though the intelligence of someone is like a hard drive of a computer- well at least the memory of it anyway, and the way/speed of learning is like our RAM. (if I'm getting the computer terminology right, anyway) Well, some people are somewhat cursed with a low meg HD, and RAM. where as others have multiple TB of both. (Hawking) Unfortunately, we are still limited to what we can know... Every thing in our lives is recorded in some aspect or another, A/V,Txt, .gif, .jpeg PowerPoint W/e- It is in there in some form. Sometimes we don't remember, because we threw it in the back of the storage room (diff term, sry) thinking we will never need it again. It'll be like that little piece of a toy that goes all the way down to the bottom of your toy box. You never see it again until, well you do... i guess... Well, the fact is, it is still there taking up space in some way. You may never need it in your life, like what you had for breakfast on January 13th 1994. Does it matter? Unless it was a special day, or a special occasion- no. It doesn't matter at all. We keep the most recent events up close to the front, so we can recall to it when we need to, like remembering your dentist appointment on Monday. Its right up front in the storage. But when Tuesday comes, that file gets thrown to the back, because it isn't needed anymore- until someone asks about it, then you have to dig for the file (RAM/ thinking about it-) and Ding! oh! yeah! Then it becomes relevant again- but then gets thrown to the back again.
Now. Common sense.
This may be odd, but WTF is common sense? A COMMON knowledge amusingly know by all people. Sounds fairly accurate, right?
Think about it this way. Why do you not stick your head in the oven to see if its pre-heated? Why do you not stick your finger in a plug to see if it has power? The same reason you don't try to breathe under water in a swimming pool.
It. WILL. SUCK.
And hurt like hell... But mostly SUCK.
Small children don't know fire is hot until they touch it...
They also do not understand the concept of gravity- like pulling things off of shelves, and why some things are heavier, and cannot be thrown as far. Baby doesn't have common sense yet. He will smack himself in the head with the rattle a dozen times before he starts to understand "cause and effect"
"I hold the rattle, and swing my arm up here... the rattle hits my head. It hurts.... Don't like that hurt... better not do that again." Though it will be more than a dozen times, but you get the idea. Common sense to a 10 year old is much different than a 2 year olds common sense., fire is hot, don't play with power outlets, etc. 10 gets it. 2 does not. 2 y/o doesn't understand leverage, and what-not so pulling his highchair on top of him was a total surprise to him. He knows he can push it easily, but the tip-over was new. He learned something today- which in early years 0-5 is a basic "common sense learning" period- learning to feed yourself, use the potty, dress yourself, walk talk, etc- then gets to age 5 where its all brand new! its exciting, and its all fun.
Learning is fun now because this is a big world- everything is huge to a 5yo. So many things to see and do, and not enough time in the day. What to learn first, what question to ask? All of them child. Ask them all. Learn all you can. Fill up that hard drive head with knowledge of your interests and become the person you should be.
This is where we get to measures on intellect on specific attributes.
I can cook okay. I can write fairly well, and play video games.
I know i can do these things because i have had interests in them at some point.
I know almost nothing about sports or cars, because i was more interested in movies and computers.
A good way to look at it is, would you hire your dentist to fix your car? (unless he used to be a mechanic) Naah. Your dentist has the branch of knowledge you do not have, oral hygiene and oral surgical procedures. Your mechanic knows how to fix your car, what is making that noise, etc.
They know about it because they were interested in that topic enough to learn about it and build a career out of it. Which is awesome in my book. So, when it comes to movies, Bob may be able to tell you exactly how that scene was done, but Sam, who is more into sports, couldn't care less HOW it was done, it was just freakin' awesome. That's all he wants to know. Don't wreck it for Sam. >.<
I like that one, i could go on about it. But i suppose the main point would be, someones lack of knowledge on a topic doesn't not imply they are unintelligent all together, it means they flourish where you perish mentally.
Wisdom-
Collaboration of life lived information and personal situations which can be passed to others with need of the knowledge.
My 5yo looks at me like i have all the answers. I look at my parents like THEY have all the answers, as my parents did with theirs.
He asks me "what does _____ mean?" because i have been here a lot longer than him. He asks the people who he trusts, and who have been around it long enough to know. Smart move, bud!
It makes people feel old to call it wisdom, but it shouldn't. Several people have wisdom of double their age. One guy in his 20's has the wisdom of one who has lived several lives. Sharp as a tack, that one.
Some people have claimed i am wise for my age as well, or even that I am intelligent.
Well is several aspects, yeah. I suppose I can see where you can come to that conclusion- but simply by the way i speak? That's new to me, sir. Not bad. Just new.
Though asking a 90 yo about his child hood may not come to be so clear. Like i said before, our minds are limited to space... and we store everything. He has 90 years of memories, conversations, 90 birthday parties (well 85 if you go with the common sense learning stage) - its a lot to store, so it starts to compress these memories to smaller bits of information- compressing his 16th birthday party from 2GB down to, oh, say 4MB? that's one hell of a compression. Anyone who has fooled with compression knows it is hard to crush a file so big to a file so small and keep good quality. It looses frames, gets pixelated, distorted- looks like crap. Well, that's what his 16th bday looks like to him... missing pieces, fuzzy, and he was in his car, and flushed the toilet and then blew out the candles- Wait. Grampa? you had a toilet in your car and a cake with candles in your lap? It must be time for your medication. "Who are you?"
That's when they forget things too. The drive is full, and nothing can be compressed any more than it is already. Nothing new can be written unless files are removed. I can learn to use the universal remote control, but i have to for get my daughter's name first. It sucks.
And this, ladies and gentlemen is how you potato...
It has also been said that people of higher intellect stay up later at night, most likely because it is the most stimulating time of day, - everyone is asleep, few annoying distractions- its why some people sleep all day and work all night- creatively anyway - --- and over the course of the day, the mind is stimulated to such a degree, it needs a time to wind down and become tired, but sense there are so many things going on in the brain at the time (multiple programs at once) it is hard to stop the process of thinking when stimulated. Example: Me. Writing this. After working 7hours (4p-11p), staying up to write this until 2:40am- fully aware of needing to be at work again at 6am-3p. So, 2 hrs of sleep? Not so good. But my mind is still working... Must Cmd+Q . . .
Topic was, as you see in title, Intelligence.
It has been rumored for a long time that classical music helps infants with their intelligence, which I believe. But i didn't think it had an influence on adults intelligence as well....
I listen to classical music because it calms me. Settles me. It is remarkably beautiful to my ears and my mind.
Either way, I feel as though the intelligence of someone is like a hard drive of a computer- well at least the memory of it anyway, and the way/speed of learning is like our RAM. (if I'm getting the computer terminology right, anyway) Well, some people are somewhat cursed with a low meg HD, and RAM. where as others have multiple TB of both. (Hawking) Unfortunately, we are still limited to what we can know... Every thing in our lives is recorded in some aspect or another, A/V,Txt, .gif, .jpeg PowerPoint W/e- It is in there in some form. Sometimes we don't remember, because we threw it in the back of the storage room (diff term, sry) thinking we will never need it again. It'll be like that little piece of a toy that goes all the way down to the bottom of your toy box. You never see it again until, well you do... i guess... Well, the fact is, it is still there taking up space in some way. You may never need it in your life, like what you had for breakfast on January 13th 1994. Does it matter? Unless it was a special day, or a special occasion- no. It doesn't matter at all. We keep the most recent events up close to the front, so we can recall to it when we need to, like remembering your dentist appointment on Monday. Its right up front in the storage. But when Tuesday comes, that file gets thrown to the back, because it isn't needed anymore- until someone asks about it, then you have to dig for the file (RAM/ thinking about it-) and Ding! oh! yeah! Then it becomes relevant again- but then gets thrown to the back again.
Now. Common sense.
This may be odd, but WTF is common sense? A COMMON knowledge amusingly know by all people. Sounds fairly accurate, right?
Think about it this way. Why do you not stick your head in the oven to see if its pre-heated? Why do you not stick your finger in a plug to see if it has power? The same reason you don't try to breathe under water in a swimming pool.
It. WILL. SUCK.
And hurt like hell... But mostly SUCK.
Small children don't know fire is hot until they touch it...
They also do not understand the concept of gravity- like pulling things off of shelves, and why some things are heavier, and cannot be thrown as far. Baby doesn't have common sense yet. He will smack himself in the head with the rattle a dozen times before he starts to understand "cause and effect"
"I hold the rattle, and swing my arm up here... the rattle hits my head. It hurts.... Don't like that hurt... better not do that again." Though it will be more than a dozen times, but you get the idea. Common sense to a 10 year old is much different than a 2 year olds common sense., fire is hot, don't play with power outlets, etc. 10 gets it. 2 does not. 2 y/o doesn't understand leverage, and what-not so pulling his highchair on top of him was a total surprise to him. He knows he can push it easily, but the tip-over was new. He learned something today- which in early years 0-5 is a basic "common sense learning" period- learning to feed yourself, use the potty, dress yourself, walk talk, etc- then gets to age 5 where its all brand new! its exciting, and its all fun.
Learning is fun now because this is a big world- everything is huge to a 5yo. So many things to see and do, and not enough time in the day. What to learn first, what question to ask? All of them child. Ask them all. Learn all you can. Fill up that hard drive head with knowledge of your interests and become the person you should be.
This is where we get to measures on intellect on specific attributes.
I can cook okay. I can write fairly well, and play video games.
I know i can do these things because i have had interests in them at some point.
I know almost nothing about sports or cars, because i was more interested in movies and computers.
A good way to look at it is, would you hire your dentist to fix your car? (unless he used to be a mechanic) Naah. Your dentist has the branch of knowledge you do not have, oral hygiene and oral surgical procedures. Your mechanic knows how to fix your car, what is making that noise, etc.
They know about it because they were interested in that topic enough to learn about it and build a career out of it. Which is awesome in my book. So, when it comes to movies, Bob may be able to tell you exactly how that scene was done, but Sam, who is more into sports, couldn't care less HOW it was done, it was just freakin' awesome. That's all he wants to know. Don't wreck it for Sam. >.<
I like that one, i could go on about it. But i suppose the main point would be, someones lack of knowledge on a topic doesn't not imply they are unintelligent all together, it means they flourish where you perish mentally.
Wisdom-
Collaboration of life lived information and personal situations which can be passed to others with need of the knowledge.
My 5yo looks at me like i have all the answers. I look at my parents like THEY have all the answers, as my parents did with theirs.
He asks me "what does _____ mean?" because i have been here a lot longer than him. He asks the people who he trusts, and who have been around it long enough to know. Smart move, bud!
It makes people feel old to call it wisdom, but it shouldn't. Several people have wisdom of double their age. One guy in his 20's has the wisdom of one who has lived several lives. Sharp as a tack, that one.
Some people have claimed i am wise for my age as well, or even that I am intelligent.
Well is several aspects, yeah. I suppose I can see where you can come to that conclusion- but simply by the way i speak? That's new to me, sir. Not bad. Just new.
Though asking a 90 yo about his child hood may not come to be so clear. Like i said before, our minds are limited to space... and we store everything. He has 90 years of memories, conversations, 90 birthday parties (well 85 if you go with the common sense learning stage) - its a lot to store, so it starts to compress these memories to smaller bits of information- compressing his 16th birthday party from 2GB down to, oh, say 4MB? that's one hell of a compression. Anyone who has fooled with compression knows it is hard to crush a file so big to a file so small and keep good quality. It looses frames, gets pixelated, distorted- looks like crap. Well, that's what his 16th bday looks like to him... missing pieces, fuzzy, and he was in his car, and flushed the toilet and then blew out the candles- Wait. Grampa? you had a toilet in your car and a cake with candles in your lap? It must be time for your medication. "Who are you?"
That's when they forget things too. The drive is full, and nothing can be compressed any more than it is already. Nothing new can be written unless files are removed. I can learn to use the universal remote control, but i have to for get my daughter's name first. It sucks.
And this, ladies and gentlemen is how you potato...
It has also been said that people of higher intellect stay up later at night, most likely because it is the most stimulating time of day, - everyone is asleep, few annoying distractions- its why some people sleep all day and work all night- creatively anyway - --- and over the course of the day, the mind is stimulated to such a degree, it needs a time to wind down and become tired, but sense there are so many things going on in the brain at the time (multiple programs at once) it is hard to stop the process of thinking when stimulated. Example: Me. Writing this. After working 7hours (4p-11p), staying up to write this until 2:40am- fully aware of needing to be at work again at 6am-3p. So, 2 hrs of sleep? Not so good. But my mind is still working... Must Cmd+Q . . .
Friday, February 7, 2014
-College & People-
I have decided to take a stand for my fellow classmates who have not stood up and allowed their voices to be heard, so i made mine heard. (or will soon)
I brought it to the attention of the school that I and several other of my classmates feel as though we did not get the quality education we paid for. Some teachers seemed to be WAY under qualified to teach any class except subbing it. Some classes seemed to be a simple waste of time and money. In my case, which i doubt is unique, I was supposed to make a choice to branch to in my field. Video production was supposed to be branching into production and visual effects. I wanted to go to the VFX route, but i didn't realize i was supposed to make that choice before the term i was already 80% done with...
Imagine my frustration. I spent my time and money on two classes I didn't need to go to my degree in VFX. So, then i was a term behind, with two classes i have to pay for, and no certificate to prove i have the knowledge. I'll make it simple: I want those two classes refunded back to me fully. I want to physically see that check, so i can pay of a portion of the other classes i took and NEEDED. Less dept to pay off. I could just be a total dick and just go on and on about how shitty I feel being treated this way, and probably, if I'm a big enough douche, i could get a lot of my money back for the crap I have been through with them over the past 4 years. But I intend to play it cool, and be reasonable. I will tell them the things that have been done to my peers and I.
Now, this so far makes the school sound awful. It isn't all bad. The students are all awesome in their own way. Most of the instructors are pretty cool, some are tougher than others-
Just as an example, I am horrible in math... I had a Russian teacher teach me college algebra. My final grade in her class was an A.
Other instructors were like okay here's the assignment. *silence* and the rest of the class is basically "figure it out" time.
The teacher I hated the most at first, but grew to greatly respect, was the rudest, biggest ass-hat in the halls of this school- and he is who i learned the most from. My screenwriting instructor. He was only there for one term, and received so many complaints within the first two weeks, he was marked for termination by week 3. They allowed him to finish, because their was no one else available to teach screenwriting to 20 students.
I will bring up positive things as well as negative- and make reasonable requests instead of insane demands.
As much as i am the non-controversial type, and as my sister called me, "Mr. Anti-social"- I still have a way with some people.
I don't like dealing with new people, strangers make me nervous, doing something on demand in front of multiple people makes my tummy all grumbly. People scare me in a sense. I know they think, and what is said from their mouth may not be the same as from their mind. Like, they are judging me all the time. I hate that feeling of being judged. And for some reason, i am able to pick up on people's responses when physically around me. For the most part anyway... Some times their are the people that can do a 180 in the blink of an eye. I can also go to a carnival, and not ride anything, but still have a good time watching others have fun.
So, sometimes i can feel when I'm being judged too.
So, like i said, i don't like people. People like me though, which I can some-what understand, but other times, i don't get it.
I typically try to be as honest as i can. Try to be bias. See things from other points of view, accept things for what they are, and giver of second, third and Fourth chances. I listen as well as i can, and offer advice when welcomed to do so. I would rather think of a story i was just told about why someone was late, and accept the possibility it was true that an alien stopped by this morning because he forgot his probe in your ass. Id rather think, "maybe it did happen"... than "your full of shit".
Walk a mile in their shoes, look through their eyes feel what they feel.
That's how i look at it when i interact with people. In crowds, BIG crowds, I have to find an empty isle or area to breathe, because i feel like i suck up so much mixed emotions, i become overwhelmed with it.
Something a little random, but interesting at the same time---
I find myself a bit interested in fashion design. I don't know what sparked it, but i see outfits that i like, and i sketch them out. I see ways to improve it, and want to sketch those too. I don't think its bad, just a little different. Maybe i should check out a class or two and see whats up...?
Oh yea. the school.
I was supposed to get help for housing- even as a married couple with a child- didn't. I had to hold a job and pay rent at a place i found myself.- And i was given the wrong address for the school too. that was fun. School was 10 min away from my apt, and my job ended up 30 min away... YAAAY...
Not thrilled with that...
Ill probably update things as they develop on that.
I brought it to the attention of the school that I and several other of my classmates feel as though we did not get the quality education we paid for. Some teachers seemed to be WAY under qualified to teach any class except subbing it. Some classes seemed to be a simple waste of time and money. In my case, which i doubt is unique, I was supposed to make a choice to branch to in my field. Video production was supposed to be branching into production and visual effects. I wanted to go to the VFX route, but i didn't realize i was supposed to make that choice before the term i was already 80% done with...
Imagine my frustration. I spent my time and money on two classes I didn't need to go to my degree in VFX. So, then i was a term behind, with two classes i have to pay for, and no certificate to prove i have the knowledge. I'll make it simple: I want those two classes refunded back to me fully. I want to physically see that check, so i can pay of a portion of the other classes i took and NEEDED. Less dept to pay off. I could just be a total dick and just go on and on about how shitty I feel being treated this way, and probably, if I'm a big enough douche, i could get a lot of my money back for the crap I have been through with them over the past 4 years. But I intend to play it cool, and be reasonable. I will tell them the things that have been done to my peers and I.
Now, this so far makes the school sound awful. It isn't all bad. The students are all awesome in their own way. Most of the instructors are pretty cool, some are tougher than others-
Just as an example, I am horrible in math... I had a Russian teacher teach me college algebra. My final grade in her class was an A.
Other instructors were like okay here's the assignment. *silence* and the rest of the class is basically "figure it out" time.
The teacher I hated the most at first, but grew to greatly respect, was the rudest, biggest ass-hat in the halls of this school- and he is who i learned the most from. My screenwriting instructor. He was only there for one term, and received so many complaints within the first two weeks, he was marked for termination by week 3. They allowed him to finish, because their was no one else available to teach screenwriting to 20 students.
I will bring up positive things as well as negative- and make reasonable requests instead of insane demands.
As much as i am the non-controversial type, and as my sister called me, "Mr. Anti-social"- I still have a way with some people.
I don't like dealing with new people, strangers make me nervous, doing something on demand in front of multiple people makes my tummy all grumbly. People scare me in a sense. I know they think, and what is said from their mouth may not be the same as from their mind. Like, they are judging me all the time. I hate that feeling of being judged. And for some reason, i am able to pick up on people's responses when physically around me. For the most part anyway... Some times their are the people that can do a 180 in the blink of an eye. I can also go to a carnival, and not ride anything, but still have a good time watching others have fun.
So, sometimes i can feel when I'm being judged too.
So, like i said, i don't like people. People like me though, which I can some-what understand, but other times, i don't get it.
I typically try to be as honest as i can. Try to be bias. See things from other points of view, accept things for what they are, and giver of second, third and Fourth chances. I listen as well as i can, and offer advice when welcomed to do so. I would rather think of a story i was just told about why someone was late, and accept the possibility it was true that an alien stopped by this morning because he forgot his probe in your ass. Id rather think, "maybe it did happen"... than "your full of shit".
Walk a mile in their shoes, look through their eyes feel what they feel.
That's how i look at it when i interact with people. In crowds, BIG crowds, I have to find an empty isle or area to breathe, because i feel like i suck up so much mixed emotions, i become overwhelmed with it.
Something a little random, but interesting at the same time---
I find myself a bit interested in fashion design. I don't know what sparked it, but i see outfits that i like, and i sketch them out. I see ways to improve it, and want to sketch those too. I don't think its bad, just a little different. Maybe i should check out a class or two and see whats up...?
Oh yea. the school.
I was supposed to get help for housing- even as a married couple with a child- didn't. I had to hold a job and pay rent at a place i found myself.- And i was given the wrong address for the school too. that was fun. School was 10 min away from my apt, and my job ended up 30 min away... YAAAY...
Not thrilled with that...
Ill probably update things as they develop on that.
Sunday, February 2, 2014
More Controversy-
Here's what I find strange. I don't like how it works, but i kind of get why.
Look at the post's names and how many views it got...
I notice the post on heroes, acting, beliefs, and other (more constructive things) get less views than "i could get in trouble for this" or "this could piss someone off."
Juicy gossip, and the misfortune of others- someone else's trouble is our entertainment.
I like to see positive stories just as much as I would like to see it. Seeing posts of a customer leaving a big tip for a troubled waitress, i find to be great.
But look at it like this:
You saw the title "This could piss someone off". You read it. You got pissed. You go off on me. Didn't the title kind of prepare you for that? You seem to be looking for trouble, and looking for a reason to get mad.
I have seen that a lot too, not anyone in particular, but sometimes you stay at home and do nothing but the same TV shows, same movies, same channels, web sites, games, food- life gets boring as hell. So, you look for something to complain about to spice up your day. Like that McDonald's coffee BS? What the fuck ever bitch. You knew you ordered hot coffee.... you put it between your thighs- (anyone of sound mind would use a CUP holder to hold a CUP) when she did that, her thighs applied force to either side of the paper coffee cup, popping the lid off. I know this because it happened to me before (with ice cold soda though) Even when i made my own drink, and lid on securely,with the right pressure on the cup will cause the top to pop off.
I don't know how she won that stupid case over a warning on the cup... She knew it was hot. Jeez.
People go looking for a pot of shit to stir. and those people who base their lives off of stirring up shit with other people for no REAL reason are just ridicules.
About these posts again, I don't mind any readers stating their opinion, weather they agree or disagree. Either is fine, i don't expect everyone to think the same way as i do. Id rather you think on your own.
The last post- got some comments. And some fair arguments I may Add.
With the prisoners going to war, it would be more of a voluntary community service thing. Reduction of sentence if they fight on the front line for their country. It wouldn't be mandatory, (I thought i stated that in the last one, but i must have just thought it and not typed it, so my fault. :P) Also, they do need to know what they would be fighting for- An inmate volunteering to serve his country as military would be fighting for what every other volunteer has fought for for this country- their freedom.
That was more of a thought, really. It was a topic with a co-worker and was requested I blog about it. So, in sense, to my 5 followers and approximate 10-30 regular readers... If you want me to share my point of view of a topic, feel free to ask me on FB. I don't mind talking about most things. Don't be shy.
Thank you for reading my blog, I'm surprised as well as happy to have some regular readers on my blog.
I notice the post on heroes, acting, beliefs, and other (more constructive things) get less views than "i could get in trouble for this" or "this could piss someone off."
Juicy gossip, and the misfortune of others- someone else's trouble is our entertainment.
I like to see positive stories just as much as I would like to see it. Seeing posts of a customer leaving a big tip for a troubled waitress, i find to be great.
But look at it like this:
You saw the title "This could piss someone off". You read it. You got pissed. You go off on me. Didn't the title kind of prepare you for that? You seem to be looking for trouble, and looking for a reason to get mad.
I have seen that a lot too, not anyone in particular, but sometimes you stay at home and do nothing but the same TV shows, same movies, same channels, web sites, games, food- life gets boring as hell. So, you look for something to complain about to spice up your day. Like that McDonald's coffee BS? What the fuck ever bitch. You knew you ordered hot coffee.... you put it between your thighs- (anyone of sound mind would use a CUP holder to hold a CUP) when she did that, her thighs applied force to either side of the paper coffee cup, popping the lid off. I know this because it happened to me before (with ice cold soda though) Even when i made my own drink, and lid on securely,with the right pressure on the cup will cause the top to pop off.
I don't know how she won that stupid case over a warning on the cup... She knew it was hot. Jeez.
People go looking for a pot of shit to stir. and those people who base their lives off of stirring up shit with other people for no REAL reason are just ridicules.
About these posts again, I don't mind any readers stating their opinion, weather they agree or disagree. Either is fine, i don't expect everyone to think the same way as i do. Id rather you think on your own.
The last post- got some comments. And some fair arguments I may Add.
With the prisoners going to war, it would be more of a voluntary community service thing. Reduction of sentence if they fight on the front line for their country. It wouldn't be mandatory, (I thought i stated that in the last one, but i must have just thought it and not typed it, so my fault. :P) Also, they do need to know what they would be fighting for- An inmate volunteering to serve his country as military would be fighting for what every other volunteer has fought for for this country- their freedom.
That was more of a thought, really. It was a topic with a co-worker and was requested I blog about it. So, in sense, to my 5 followers and approximate 10-30 regular readers... If you want me to share my point of view of a topic, feel free to ask me on FB. I don't mind talking about most things. Don't be shy.
Thank you for reading my blog, I'm surprised as well as happy to have some regular readers on my blog.
Saturday, February 1, 2014
This could piss someone off...
The military asks for a specific query of people to join, like men from 18-25 or something like that if i recall correctly. Of course, women are able to enroll as well, but with the same age preferences.
I find it a bit strange that the military is mostly men in the most fertile of their lives and highest sex drive. The most likely to reproduce are out in war, and has a higher chance to not come back at all.
With the war ending, we are several healthy, breeding men short of the population. Most men being fathers already, now whose kids have no father, and mother having to care for them on her own. In sense, bastard(ed) children (if the terminology is correct anyway- child without father? Idk) So with these men gone, the generation has a reproductive set-back. In sense is good... Not to be so cold, but the population of humanity, if i remember correctly is 7 billion or so. By a big enough war, could bump it down a million or so. Which means more resources for the rest of the citizens. It's violence, but its still politics. Its considered a legal, humane way of thinning out population and figuring out whatever political issue they have that could be decided by a chess match or flip of a coin.
I don't like the idea of sending anyone to their potential death unless they have wronged humanity in such a way the society would be better off without them. The idea of taking recruits of healthy, able to breed adults of sound mind and then mold them into killing machines, use them for war, and if survived, are thrown back into society like nothing happened. These people are now trained killing machines, with war experience, have seen bloodshed of their allies and enemies. Live rounds whizz past their heads, and they killed- taken fathers away from children, brothers from fathers... In sense, in the name of politics. I mean no disrespect to military personnel, i respect all branches of the armed forces as much as anyone should. They put their lives on the line to defend their country, and their loved ones within it. What is not to be respected of that?!
Instead of taking these sound minds of society and re form them to kill, and drop them into the world after battle; Instead of cursing the kindest people with PTSD; Instead of rendering so many kids as bastards, Why don't we send in the natural-born killers into battle. After all, they already know what its like to kill someone, the sight of blood doesn't bother them, in sense they are already trained to kill, or at least f*** some guys up. The killers in prison. Prisons are crowded right? Well... Send them into war. They are probably on death row already anyway, throwing them in war would be a favor. Some know how to be stealthy so they are like f***in' ninjas... They have been in prison for X number of years, so they can defend themselves with a toothbrush, or thread from a pillow case. VERY resourceful little f***ers. The war would be over before the enemies even knew it started. Right in there cots as they sleep in the night, not a shot fired. Silent attack...
Obviously, there is the issue of how do we get them back in prison AFTER war?
Well, tracking devices can be implanted in them where they cannot remove it themselves. But that isn't fail safe... I'm thinking like in "The Running Man" with Arnold Schwarzenegger. If you haven't seen it, the criminals wore this metal thing around their necks. Looks ridiculous, really. But a perimeter was set up with these poles with sensors on them run by a password-protected security computer. If an inmate passes the armed perimeter his head would be blown right off his shoulders by the thing around their neck. Gruesome bit of tech, but cannot argue with the results... unless you have a couple of smart guys seeing the password like in the movie...
Any way, if it were something similar to that, but with the implants in the back of their heads, say, right where the spine meets the skull. Other personnel keeps a close eye on our inmate infantry, and if they get to civilian area, or out of a certain "out of bounds" place, trigger the device and send the fool an electrical impulse into his nerves and collect the bastard who tried to run and throw him in solitary confinement at the prison for the intent of a war crime.
At some point (most likely at the beginning) the inmates would want something in return, like a full pardon. Hahaa! for a murderer on death row? Please... Your dreaming.
So their would have to be a bribe to get them to cooperate, and it wouldn't have to be a full pardon, but maybe a reduction in sentence, good meals for a short time, privileges most inmates wouldn't get unless they participate in the "Inmate Infantry" program.
Just those thoughts- something to consider, think about. Whatever.
When/if we run out of serial killers and other low-life scumbags in prison to throw into War, then we can send in our personnel to finish what the meat shield couldn't.
With this option, we will make room in prisons, spend less money on training and gear for military, less money spent in prisons, and more of our loved ones making it home to their families.
Or we could just make Marijuana fully legal, and have peace, impotence, and no wars.
ANOTHER way to thin out the population... Right?
I find it a bit strange that the military is mostly men in the most fertile of their lives and highest sex drive. The most likely to reproduce are out in war, and has a higher chance to not come back at all.
With the war ending, we are several healthy, breeding men short of the population. Most men being fathers already, now whose kids have no father, and mother having to care for them on her own. In sense, bastard(ed) children (if the terminology is correct anyway- child without father? Idk) So with these men gone, the generation has a reproductive set-back. In sense is good... Not to be so cold, but the population of humanity, if i remember correctly is 7 billion or so. By a big enough war, could bump it down a million or so. Which means more resources for the rest of the citizens. It's violence, but its still politics. Its considered a legal, humane way of thinning out population and figuring out whatever political issue they have that could be decided by a chess match or flip of a coin.
I don't like the idea of sending anyone to their potential death unless they have wronged humanity in such a way the society would be better off without them. The idea of taking recruits of healthy, able to breed adults of sound mind and then mold them into killing machines, use them for war, and if survived, are thrown back into society like nothing happened. These people are now trained killing machines, with war experience, have seen bloodshed of their allies and enemies. Live rounds whizz past their heads, and they killed- taken fathers away from children, brothers from fathers... In sense, in the name of politics. I mean no disrespect to military personnel, i respect all branches of the armed forces as much as anyone should. They put their lives on the line to defend their country, and their loved ones within it. What is not to be respected of that?!
Instead of taking these sound minds of society and re form them to kill, and drop them into the world after battle; Instead of cursing the kindest people with PTSD; Instead of rendering so many kids as bastards, Why don't we send in the natural-born killers into battle. After all, they already know what its like to kill someone, the sight of blood doesn't bother them, in sense they are already trained to kill, or at least f*** some guys up. The killers in prison. Prisons are crowded right? Well... Send them into war. They are probably on death row already anyway, throwing them in war would be a favor. Some know how to be stealthy so they are like f***in' ninjas... They have been in prison for X number of years, so they can defend themselves with a toothbrush, or thread from a pillow case. VERY resourceful little f***ers. The war would be over before the enemies even knew it started. Right in there cots as they sleep in the night, not a shot fired. Silent attack...
Obviously, there is the issue of how do we get them back in prison AFTER war?
Well, tracking devices can be implanted in them where they cannot remove it themselves. But that isn't fail safe... I'm thinking like in "The Running Man" with Arnold Schwarzenegger. If you haven't seen it, the criminals wore this metal thing around their necks. Looks ridiculous, really. But a perimeter was set up with these poles with sensors on them run by a password-protected security computer. If an inmate passes the armed perimeter his head would be blown right off his shoulders by the thing around their neck. Gruesome bit of tech, but cannot argue with the results... unless you have a couple of smart guys seeing the password like in the movie...
Any way, if it were something similar to that, but with the implants in the back of their heads, say, right where the spine meets the skull. Other personnel keeps a close eye on our inmate infantry, and if they get to civilian area, or out of a certain "out of bounds" place, trigger the device and send the fool an electrical impulse into his nerves and collect the bastard who tried to run and throw him in solitary confinement at the prison for the intent of a war crime.
At some point (most likely at the beginning) the inmates would want something in return, like a full pardon. Hahaa! for a murderer on death row? Please... Your dreaming.
So their would have to be a bribe to get them to cooperate, and it wouldn't have to be a full pardon, but maybe a reduction in sentence, good meals for a short time, privileges most inmates wouldn't get unless they participate in the "Inmate Infantry" program.
Just those thoughts- something to consider, think about. Whatever.
When/if we run out of serial killers and other low-life scumbags in prison to throw into War, then we can send in our personnel to finish what the meat shield couldn't.
With this option, we will make room in prisons, spend less money on training and gear for military, less money spent in prisons, and more of our loved ones making it home to their families.
Or we could just make Marijuana fully legal, and have peace, impotence, and no wars.
ANOTHER way to thin out the population... Right?
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