Blab-blab-blab

Who am I and why am I here? Everyone asks this question, and few know the answer. I am no exeption. Some days, i feel as though im almost sure of who i am and what my calling is. Days like today. I havent got a clue.

I feel i know some people, but they arent who i thought they were, they claim they want to change, but show no effort to do so. Im beyond confused on who i am and who i am supposed to be. Its scary to not even know your place.

I feel the need to do some searching. Searching for myself again. I thought i found myself a long time ago, maybe i did, but maybe i didn't. With age, i seem to be changing out of my "self" in a sense. Shit.

I'm lost. I need a map. I need to find the Micah - or Joseph within myself.

Hero

I'd like to be a Hero. Have powers, save the day, protect the good people, and put the bad guy behind bars. I can't be that kind of hero, but i can be a hero to my son.

I was there for your first breath,

I was there to help bring you here,

You were there when I first cried ,

the tears of joy to being your dad.

I loved you before i knew you,

I held your hands for your first steps,

You let go to walk on your own.

I helped you with your first words,

You made your first sentence.

I want to be your hero, I want to be there when you fall

not to pick you up, but to lift your spirit to try again.

I will be there for your bad dreams and pleasent sleeps.

I will show you how to tie your shoe, for your first day of school.

I want to help you pack your lunch, you will want to make it your self.

I will teach you to ride a bike, you will tell me when to let go.

I will be there whether you win or loose.

I will be there to teach what you want to learn.

First, second, third, or last place.

Im still going to be there for you.

Ill still be your hero.-

My Motto-

"See thy canvas, understand thy medium, know thy inspiration, love thy creation."

In my mind means this:

See thy canvas - find the canvas of which you see your work on, where it be a wall, a body, a freeway overpass, or simple paper. You have to 'see' the possibilities of the canvas can hold before the work has begun.

Understand thy medium - You have to understand the possibilities of the medium your using, paint, ice, pastels, a camera, or crayons. You have to know what your medium is capable of doing before you can do it.

Know thy inspiration - Your inspiration is important to your work. Without an inspiration, the work would not exist in the soul, heart, mind, nor on canvas. It could be a loved one, a sunset, or an empty field of grain. Every person is difrent, just like every animal, every snowflake, and every work of art. Every work has a diffrent inspiration.

Love thy creation - When the proper emotion is put into the work; the right inspiration, the right medium, and the right canvas, it all shows within the creation. In your eyes it may be a painting thats pretty good. Others may see brilliance. Others will share the emotion you had as you were working on it, or even inspire them to create something of their own. This creation is like a child, you made it, you helped it to become as is - a well rounded work, a masterpiece. When you put forth the love, the care, the time, you truly come to love the masterpiece you have created.

Not my Day

This morning my temper has been short. I have no patience for much of anything. My alarm clock this morning was one of the carpoolers knocking on my front door. Last night my boy kept crying, seemingly without reason. So i had little sleep. His crying continued this morning, it was making me mad, but I still kept it together. We and the carpoolers piled in the car. Their was somone blocking the road, and i like to lost it. I turned around and started yelling and swearing, the poolers fell silent. I dont know exactly why that set me off. If someone would have honked at me while still or given me a problem, im almost sure i would have hurt them and/or slash their tires. Maybe. Again. NOT a good day for me.