Flying Solo

Lately, I have been aching to do some videos and such.
People all have lives, and i get that. All im asking is a little cooperation. When you say you will help, i expect it. It looks as though no one cares enough to say or do anything to help.
So, im flying solo. I cannot motivate them apparently, and it looks as though my film-career is a bust. I have like 17 ppl in the SETXPFM group and 2 or 3 respond to anything. Even when i tag them. Im looking for talent, and no one wants to help. I have to do all of this PRE pro, which i don't mind, but when i ask for help, and they say they will, i'm expecting help damnit.

I cant seem to get anything going here for me, and it blows. It has become an expensive hobby. I still do Sonic. I open now. 5 am to 11am. my 2 days off, the mrs works. Imagine the schedule conflicts i already have on that, much less adding another person's to the equation.

Next, it's like Im expected to do it for free. What the hell, am i a charity who donates my time for a production with little reward except a pat on the back and a "Thanks"?
I cant spend "Thanks". "Thanks" won't put gas in my car, pay my electricity, and help make up lost time on other projects and my family. If i have a job that pays, and a job that doesn't, which job do you think im gonna take bro? Food is at least a start. Work long and hard hours for no money, at least feed them. Its the LEAST you could do. So, what seems to be expected is everyone is to donate their own gas money, time and efforts to a project we see little benefit from. The only way i can get anyone a little motivated is offer some cash. Im taking gas into consideration as well as time off from work. At this point, it looks like the only one saving up for it is me. My money going to someone elses production. Sorry. Not unless you chip in to homie. And even then, ill be getting producer credits, and since i wrote the script (twice) and intend to cast, shoot, edit, and vfx it... I think its safe to say a lot of my efforts will be going into this and I expect some recognition for it, so if it has to be producer credit because my money was the only money that went into it, then so be it. I tell you what. You want this thing off the ground? Cast it, and collect a budget. How? I dont care. Fund raiser? Sell lemonade, cookies, odd-jobs for neighbors- think like you really want this to happen and you will do what it takes to ensure it does. Ill be putting my money where i see fit.

I want to do this doritos crash the bowl thing, and we have a few ideas, and some people want to do it, others don't. The ones who do get tied between two ideas. I can't do this on my own. The only help i can rely on is my 6-year old son as a DA/Actor, and Wife as a Wrangler/Crafts/DA/Actress/Secondary Camera Op.

I cant crap something awesome without given someone or something to work with. If you want to shoot something, meet me halfway, and be sure you want to do the project. if you have any doubts, lets hash them out and find what will work. Dont back out on me when it comes time. The "I forgot" excuse is old as time itself.
I'm not a miracle worker, you have to pull your share of the load, and if i give you a role to do, like casting, or writing something i can work with, I expect it to get done, and i expect updates. Its getting me all pissy that this keeps happening.

People thinking this is just something fun to do when ever they want. Well, yeah, i suppose it can be seen that way, but when you tell me your all in... It becomes a job. Thats what this needs to be for me. A Career. Not a hobby. A CAREER. I need to be able to pay bills and loans with this income i bring with this. When I don't have a reliable team, it makes it impossible.
So these people who expect me to do this shit for free, or an EXTREMELY discounted price to where its hardly worth the time, and those who wont meet me halfway on anything, or if you think any part of this post was directed to you in anyway, I say this to you:::

"Thanks for crushing my dreams of being a VFX artist and sentencing me to paying off thousands of dollars of school loan debt while working fast food the rest of my life.
P.s. You Suck.
-Micah"

"TEAMWORK"- a work related rant.

Ok. When you work ANYWHERE theres always a form of team work involved. When someone is not doing their share of the workload, the load falls on someone else, making their job a little harder. When ten people do half their jobs, someone else has to work 3.5 times harder picking up the slack, and the more one person has to do, the thinner they are trying to spread themselves, the job has to be done quickly, or even half-ass. Then someone has to go behind them, and THEY are seen as lazy and sloppy.
None of it is fair, damnit. Im gonna say this shit how i want to, and if theres a problem, oh well.

It isnt fair, that im told im slow, and that i need to speed up, by someone who isnt calling things out. Im only one person in the kitchen for 6 hours damnit, and i'm supposed to handle 300+ orders on my own without you calling out anything? With the stalls, I hear the loud beeps, so i know to keep an eye on the screen, but with drive thru being on a headset, i cant hear anything. Im doing tomatoes, or bacon, dishes, onions, whatever... and i look on the screen, theres an order that has a minute and a half on it already. Nothing cooking. Last week, i made a point to say something to her about calling shit out.... I got a headset of my own, so i know whats coming in drive thru, if anything. I made a point of showing her. Before that, i asked her to call it out. She round-about said "Sheah, right. Like that's gonna happen." So then... I got the headset, which was my way of giving her the finger nicely.
And lets not forget, that they also want me to bag the shit? Okay, so let me get this straight..... I have to prep for the day, make several orders ALONE for 6 hours, with a manager who comes in and saves the day by getting out a single tot, clean up, and bag your shit so you and the other two people up front can make a few drinks, and you can stick your self out the window and chat it up with a customer in the window? Why are you getting paid more than me? Why are you a manager? You make your wage AND TIPS. You get a free meal for fucks sake. I dont. I have to buy my food. its half price, but I DONT HAVE CASH for that. Guess who does? Those who get tips. So... Cooks are immune to hunger?
To break it down, I'm expected to be lightning fast, read minds, and be immune to hunger... Wonder why so many of us have health issues? Stroke? Heart problems? Stomach Ulcers?

Here. I'll explain that.
Stroke, and heart problems.... Managers with free meals.
Stomach Ulcers... Cooks withOUT free meals.

Poof.
Look. not all cooks get them... Just the honest ones do. The honest ones who choose NOT to steal from their employer. The rest eat whatever, whenever they feel like. And its hard to stay honest when your health takes a dive, and the ones who steal aren't being punished. No consequences, no problem. So I eat little things here and there to keep the stomach pains at bay. Sometimes a full sandwich.
Its total bullshit... One free meal for cooks with a 6+ hour shift. Thats all we want damnit. If we rang it up, it wouldnt be stealing, and the computer counts it, so food cost goes down.
Food cost is high because of one manager specifically who makes food for themselves, and family of like, 3 or 4 people on a regular basis. Lets also not forget when other Hops come in and make their own stuff and not ring it up. Why am i being punished for doing the right thing? It makes no sense, and I'm running out of reasons to stay honest, and be a good employee here. I shouldnt have to pull so much of other lazy ass'es slack to make their job easier, when it makes mine harder. I should WANT to help them out. "Oh, hey, let me bag that sense your busy..." Not ... "Tray 3...." *looks around; one is on their phone, one is leaning out the window BS'ng with customer, and number 3 is nowhere to be found... "Okaaaay... I guess I"LL get it, sense everyone else is SO DAMN BUSY." bag, put it on Drive-thru table. "Tray 3..." she Doesnt budge... *throws hands in the air and scoffs* Lazy ass fucks...

The best manager there has been marked as the devil incarnate or something, a total black sheep to "The Family" What ever he says, they do the opposite. She plays favorites, gives out free food to her family (as stated earlier) and the night kitchen has no idea how to train a new employee, stock, or clean without her there... its sad. He's marked as the asshole for telling them to do their jobs. He only works one day out of the week, and hes still the one manager who gives a damn enough to BE the asshole. He is running out of fucks to give at this place. Hes been considering throwing in the towel, and say "fuck it. I'm out." I dont blame him. The only thing keeping me here is the paycheck. I stopped caring like, 6 years ago. I got a family... wife kids. They need me to work the shit job to get the shit money to pay for the shit we need to shit. (you know what i mean) So, I'm stuck. I want out of fastfood. Have wanted out for 7 years now. It blows.... I have a degree in film and video production, then move to a town where it's LITERALLY useless. All i can do is TV/news stuff (which will be a big difference from film) and do the jobs that no one else wants- the "untouchables" Weddings, birthdays, graduations--- the jobs no one wants to do because of the "one chance to make it or break it" mindset.

Well i shot my first (professional) wedding last saturday. I think it went very well. It didnt stress me out as much as I was expecting- Well, one point before it, before we left for the job someone had some unpleasant things to say which pissed me off to a point of... (nvm) Well, it threw off the good vibes i was having, and the "Mojo" I had going on. Feelin' good, im ready, were set, turn the lights on and lets shoot this thing! "Kick the tires and light the fires big daddy!" and then- O_o wTf?!
Luckily while waiting for the ceremony to start, I was able to calm down and try to re-work the Mojo. Shooting some B-roll helped calm my nerves, and ease the tension. Some nice footage too, I saw mine and Stacie's but as far as camera 3's stuff... havent seen it yet, i dont even have it. Idk how long i should wait for it before i call him about it, and idk when the bride wants the video to be done by.... I sure as hell won't be calling or txting her on her honeymoon. I'd be pissed off if I got a business related message during that time.

So thats what my degree is going to... Side jobs and fun stuff on the side.
Expensive hobby, too. Yay me. I was so smart getting this degree. I cant even afford the minimum payments on the student loans when it comes due.
What the fuck am I going to do....
Tv and film are not the same.
Do you kick a soccer ball on a hockey rink? Or shoot hoops with a catchers' mitt?
"Tv, movies, same thing... " No. not really. Same game, different ball.