Homesick

Last night, Kai wanted to watch the movie i made for the family last year on christmas. and it reminded me of home so much, im more homesick than i was before. Especialy when pics of my family came up. I miss them all. I miss my Dad, his welcoming into his home, always has somthing cooking in the kitchen, sugar ray barking his head off and slobbering everywere. It may sound silly, but most things i go by in my life have to do with smell. The smell of rain, refineries, dogs, people, food. So many new smells, and so many that remind me of home. if Home is where the heart is, then i must have two hearts. I miss my mother to, my sister, My grand parents, my uncles, and aunts, cousins, my siblings, i miss everyone back home in texas. If i had it my way, id move this school to beaumont, and go back home. Cause I love home, I wont miss this place.

Having Second Thoughts

Yesterday, a few things that the Mrs. and I were disscussing are very depressing. I wouldnt dare post this directly on face book, but post it for any of those who WANT to know whats on my mind. Also, it would keep a lot of the online "i told ya so"'s off my back. in a nuttshell, we cannot afford to stay in AZ. I lost count of how many applications she has filled out and brought back and checked on. no luck. my job is 22 miles away, eating through gas, which is another expense rapidly increasing. my hours keep getting cut, i keep getting sent home early, making my checks smaller. im only pulling in about 8-$900 and all our bills come to well over that. we have applied for foodstaps 3 times and been denied twice and waiting on the 3rd. We are getting deeper into debt. the phone bill is 500$ for not paying ontime, if not paid in full by 6th, it gets cut off, our auto insurance may be canceled if 50 isnt paid by 15th, and we have a 200 carloan note due at the end of the month. we need MAJOR help without a second income, it puts us behind on a lot of bills, id like to finish school but if a job dosent come, or gov. help, or some mirical of major $$$ dosent happen, we will be forced to go home, or live on the streets- or both. Please God, I normally dont pray for anything, but please, I ask of you , help us.