Today, May 27th is my birthday. Today marks the 24th year of my birth, and the day of a loss.
About 13 or 14 years ago, a friend of mine drowned in a pool, at my birthday party, on my birthday. I havent let go if it yet, and i dont think i will. i still feel a bit accountable for what happened. People tell me its not my fault, but i didnt do anything to prevent it. I lost my friend on my birthday in front of me. i dont think anyones birthday would be the same if it happened to them. Ive been thinking about my lost friend for years, i still havent payed my respects to him or anything, i guess its guilt that keeps me from not looking forward to my birthdays. Everyone tells me Happy Birthday, but its not just a birthday. its a deathday to. (If you want to know the Story, Post a comment about it and ill post it.) Wish he were still here man. . . R.I.P Lu'mon.
Its been a decent birthday, yet so much is missing. Like my family. I got used to going to my dads, eating a big delicous dinner, being surounded by a loving family , and scrumcious cake. Now, its staying home, eating a small yummy dinner, having my wife and son here with me and tons of calls, texts and posts on facebook, and maby some cookies. . . im not sure yet, but the day isnt over yet.
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Yeah man, I was there too. I feel guilty as well because I saw it, and wanted to do something, but couldn't because of my leg at the time. I still think about that day as well. My first time to basically see someone die, and it wasn't the last, and won't be. You can't beat yourself up feeling guilty about it on your birthday every year. I hear/see you talk about this day all the time. Please, let it roll by. I don't think he would've wanted to to dwell over it. Enjoy your life. If anything, enjoy it for him...But you have a great son now to live for and push you through. He's what matters. And I must say I'm jealous of that factor. Keep on keepin' on. Death is neither a curse, or a fear. It's a balance.
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