Chapter 3

If you haven’t noticed, I haven’t had internet, so I have been writing these blogs in Word, and posting them when I get the chance.

Today, I’m feeling like a different person. After unloading boxes, seeing family, and getting the family on a routine and all, we are getting happier.
Im thinking that our move back here was not a mistake. It’s the start of a new chapter in our life’s story.

Chapter 1- Newlyweds’ new lives together.

            (introduction of first born)

Chapter 2 – Move to AZ and start new lives as an independent.

            (introducing second born)

Chapter 3 – Moving back to TX and picking up where we left off.

This new chapter has only begun.
The boys are adjusting, Stacie has a job working with kids, I’m basically a stay-at-home dad so far. No complaints here,  I enjoy it. Get to spend time with Link, and when he naps, I have an hour or so to work on some VFX or scripts, or just watch TV, or even nap myself. After lunch, I bring Stacie back to work, then spend more time with link until its time to get kai from school. I can help Kai with homework, which was something I rarely got to do, and I can keep the dishes in check and clean the house while the boys play, and pick up Stacie from work.
After the boys are asleep, its time for more writing of VFX. As of now, I can say I wrote about another page or so for a feature, and wrote another short script based on a dream I had. I started working on some VFX yesterday (5-14) and the first clip looks really good. This one today’s effect looks good from a mid-shot, and full, but not on the close-up. Ill be working on that one until I get it right, then add a few more things and maybe a tweak or two to perfect it.

To get to the rest of the effects, I need to hook up my hard drive, and I’ll need my desk space, which is cluttered atm.

No big deal, just haven’t felt the need to do it yet is all.

As far as actual work goes for me, I haven’t found anything… primarily because I haven’t really looked. I don’t want to settle for “a job” and get so involved, or stuck in it that I let my degree go to total waste. “I have a BA in film and video production; VFX, specificly, but, I still work fastfood, and am in worse position financially than when I left to get my degree” I do not want that shit happening. I have seen it happen to many people- they get there degrees, go to a crummy little ‘default’ job just to get by and pay off the loans. Those who have that spark, to keep at it, work their asses off at what they love to do… Those people will never have to “work” another day in there lives. When they get the ‘Job’ of their dreams, it’s all fun and games. Never working, and getting paid to do what you love. Win.

As of now, I will have to start from the beginning here. As far as I know, there aren’t any studios or VFX, or screen writing work needed in the area.

As discussing it over with the Mrs, she reminded me that this city next door has lots of financially well-off families living in them. What I can do is what most of my film-making buddies would consider “untouchable” work, or the “undesirable” job.

I freelance and shoot the Birthday Parties, Weddings, Graduations, and other occasions, and can do a number of things with it for the clients. Can do the basic Shoot and Drop, where I shoot the footage and drop it on a disk and be done with it.

Or I can “Sizzer-Hands” it (Edit) and put music and stuff to it and basicly do it like the Monkey Show I’ve done. And if they want 3d models, or VFX, I can charge extra, depending on the complexity, and time it would take to do. Get started with that, and I can still freelance myself to others who just want to do a little movie for the fun of it, and work on scripts online. Scripts can be time consuming to read and correct, which means I’d have to charge for it based on pages.

Without the net

Without the net (5/7/14)

Kinda felt a little lost at first, but as I continue to get everything unpacked, im finding myself to feel more at home. And as I expected, im being expected to pull a job out of my butt. A job in my field is difficult to find in this area, or even close around it. Without the net, im a sitting duck… The mrs is trying, and were crossing our fingers for her. I have a plan. It isn’t fail safe or anything, bu it is a start. I can sell photography online, and get a cut of prophits, online script doctoring, online special effects and even sell some of my 3d models I do. I would have to set up a paypal account, and it wouldn’t be a steady income, but it’s a start.

Something  encouraging has been malachi. I read him my script from roadrunner 2, and he wanted me to read him episode 3 for his bedtime story tonight. I did. He wants to hear what I have of the feature, which is only 10 pages so far, but he wants to heaar it anyway. Its inspiring to me that this character is well written enough to where my kid wants to know what happens next, and asks questions about the characters. Think I may have something here. Kind of like the harry potter thing. Maybe it will be a big thing. The fresh piece of cinema that the public has been waiting for….

Home in TX

Home in Texas (5/4/14)

After being in Arizona for four years, Bridge City has gone through quite a few changes. Old shops shut down, big powerfull looking buildings up where a lot used to be, old gas stations with new names and owners… Even after being here for almost a week, I still am not accoustomed to this place I used to call home. The people I called family, well, Personaly I’m not all to sure. Almost as if they are imposters, or a physical representation who has all the same characteristics, only seemingly four years older. Stacies family has been up our buts, and frankly, I love having family around. Even a phone call would suffice.
I cant help to feel out of place, but I guess that’s what happens every time anyone moves to a different area, especially state. But coming back home and finding yourself misplaced… I spent 20 minutes looking for arrowhead water at walmart… only to realize it isn’t in TX.
It is nice however to eat at the old Texas quisine again, and the fun stuff that comes afterwards. I never thought I would feel out of place, and not at home at the place I called home. The traffic is busier than I remember, and the old drawbridge is being refurbished with all custom made original parts to function again like it used to. (or so I hear)
The trailor we came home to, I thought was well taken care of, but the inside of it shows different. 3 outlets seem to have been ripped from the walls, the fron door deadbolt willnot lock, backdoor had leak, and rotted in the wall and floor, and that part of the floor is softened so bad, someone stepped in it and the floor caved in. (small area, about the size of a foot) I’m afraid which window will leak, what breakers will trip, smoke alarms, the tub, waterheater… even the stove. Nothing in here is familiar… Our tub is fairly new, roofing is new, recently painted…
As we unpack, and put tthings where we feel comfortable, I see more and more work that needs to be done. Put away the kitchen chemicles, and found the sink’s drain leaks A LOT. 3 or 4 places, actually. That’s just one. I wont list all of it because mostly when I see a new thing to add to the list of crap to fix, I get even more depressed and discouraged.

Several times I have thought it, and I still think it at some points. Coming back here was a mistake. 

My biggest argument on it is just my line of work I want to persue. Film and video production. I’d rather do something in the writing or VFX area, but I can’t really be pickey as of now, can i? Moving home was a good move for the family. Stacie seems much happier, in fact I haven’t seen her happier, especially when shes with family. Malachi seems to be happy so far. He will start school on Monday, and is expecting to see his AZ buddies. Hope he isn’t discouraged to make new friends.

Link however isn’t sure WTH is going on, he has spent his whole life sharing a room with mom and dad, and now, he has his own room. I can understand how weird and even scary it can be at his age. He already seems to be super clingy, and this only seems to make it worse.

Well, I have to admit when I saw a body of water within our trip, I got giddy. Same thing with the ample supply of cows in pastors. Seeing the two bridge city bridges was a sight for sore eyes. Seeing the ships pass underneath was as well. Smelling the refineries, the smell of grass, the sticky humid air.

This is TX, this is my home. I missed it, but it didn’t seem to miss me.

Passing away, Moving on / Overcharging School / The Real Sexists / Weed and Guns'

My uncle John passed away a few days ago, and i graduate college, and am moving back to Texas soon....
Bitter sweet feelings.

I knew my uncle, but not very well. Most memories I have of him weren't very positive... He drank, smoked, and swore like a sailor. He was still family, and I still love him. Since I didn't see him so much, I don't know If I'll miss him, I probably will get to wishing i could hear him drop the F-Bomb a few more times while a cigarette burns in one hand and an iced whisky in the other.
Last I saw him, he was sick, and trying to quit drinking and smoking, and he was so different. I didn't mind being around him. Maybe it was because he was sober, or maybe it was because I was an adult, and he saw me more of an equal.

It got me thinking about passing away, and how I would like to see my life. On the last day of my life, I would like to be able to turn around, look at my "wibbly wobbly ball of timey-wimey stuff" and be able to say, "I regret nothing." I have been around for almost 30 years, and i know i have barely begun to live my life. Still have many years ahead of me, 30, 40, 50+ years, and i look forward to growing old, and being another few decades wiser. More experience in life, and the troubles that come with it.
I was raised catholic, but my faith has somewhat turned to another I'd call my own form of religion. Only Me in this one so far, but i have no intentions of "recruiting" more members. This is for me, and me only. A previous post was about that- the Scientist beyond, and the life lived will be decided on where you go. If I'm a bad person, I come back to hell on earth, and learn how it was to be treated as how i treated others in my former life. If I'm a good little human... Well... It's better than coming back to start over.
The reason I feel the creator as a scientist is simple. Everything can be explained through science. (almost anything) and it is updated often. The universe, galaxies, stars and planets, then all life on earth. Hell, our bodies are science. How we evolved is science. It is hard to look right in the prehistoric eye sockets of a homo erectus and deny all connections to them, and say "I didn't evolve from you."
It's been proven about evolution, from cave men to multiple races and to today. I never liked the idea of "blind faith", it is to uncertain.

Going in another direction, to go off of a few things on my mind...

With my school, I feel as though I should look at the amount of money I owe for student loans...
Then look at my demo reel(s)... Is it really worth THAT much money for this work? Did I learn what i should know to make this Field into a career and be good at it?

(may be a bit controversial)
women want to be treated equally, but when it comes to getting certain things (like a raise, or special treatment) sometimes, some will flirt, and flaunt themselves to get it. Typically, she will get it. If a man were to flirt with his female boss for that, it would be sexual harassment.
Equality in the workforce huh?
Not saying ALL women do that, really its more of the ones who don't mind looking like a piece of meat.

Weed should have similar restrictions as alcohol.
No using while driving, age limit, unavailable at certain days and times.

Guns should have the same as a car.
A license, insurance, age limit, training courses.
I look at ti like this: almost everyone has a car, and accidents happen, but are usually non-deadly.
If anyone had a gun with the courses and license, a crime could be less likely to happen, because a criminal has little intention of becoming a victim themselves, and if they know there's a good chance the people in that store are carrying a firearm, he wont even try.

F*** Money

started to do my exit counseling... and what i have to say is fuck money.

Greedy ass fuckers, i swear. i have 62,000+ in debt tnow, and Im expected to just shit a job or pull 600 off my money tree and pay the student loans? THEN its reccomended i put aside 3 months worth of money as well? I put in the numbers, and it is VERY clear that will be a problem. Lets not forget the doubled student loans now... Capitalized loans. Bullshit. All from the greedy bastards trying to suck every penny from the hard working classes by making them go to school and take out loans, and pay back 62000 in 10 years and still pay that same amount in interest? What interest? I wasnt INTERESTed in your rate... I needed money to go to school, so i can pay back my student loans... How stupid.
I hope these punk-ass bastards choke on their dinner. Not to death, just enough to scare the shit out of them and make them think "Wow, im a greedy bastard. Maybe i should change my ways." How passive is that...

I hate the idea of having to rob banks and shit to pay off a maxed student loan and keep interest down.
other option is to treat it like breaking bad, and use that income to pay it off.


leagaly, i have been given options that will not risk jail time. so theres a plus.


still, the interest rates are still way to high, and if we are to be encouraged to get a better job with an education shouldnt the schooling be easier to obtain, and cheaper to do so? We would have les poverty wouldnt we? less people working fastfood and retail to pay off student loans. ill be almost 40 when my loans will be paid off... How depressing is that? By the time i am able to save money, and make a good living, ill be over the hill.

Ill still be able to prefom my job well and have lots of experience....

Still. Without money, our economy would have to resort to bartering again. Then the 99% come back into power over the useless 1%. Ha ha! All that "work" for that paper will be useless, and the only thing that will get you anywhere is trade of items, and skills. The only skills you bozos posess is sucking money out of hard working peoples pockets. If theres no money, you have no skills, and are useless.

What classifies us as human? - Blog on assignment.

My assignment essay is an ethics request of 5 things that classifies us as human.

One aspect of us being human is taking fellow peoples feelings into consideration before we act. For example, Snorting off a rude comment at a fast food employee belittles them, making them feel un appreciated, and could potentially become hostile. By not taking the fast food worker's feelings into consideration, you can now enjoy you loogie burger and urinade in solitude. Taking in account of how others' will react to your decisions is part of humanity. Lives are much more tolerable when people wave hello to the guy in the cross walk instead of shooting him the finger. A bad mood is like a virus, when someone gets pissy, it is likely they will do something inconsiderate and piss of another person, which does it to another, and so on. The cycle is rarely broken. When I see someone running to a person's aid, when not asked, I feel a part of humanity is restored. Do to people as you would have them do to you. If you are not to apply this logic, it can be said that you are not human. It would be easy to consider a murderer non-human, because they did not care of their victems' feelings of wanting to live...

Fear is also an aspect of our humanity, without it we know no limits, and thinking of others is unlikely. Every creature feels fear-- So supposedly, this aspect just is a sign of being a living being.

To enjoy works of art is a wonderful human aspect. Art can make us feel a number of emotions, by showing the beauty, ugliness, or the unusual of the world around us. To be overwhelmed by a symphony, is such a thing only a human can comprehend. A line from a movie comes to mind with this; I, Robot. Spooner says, "Can a machine turn a canvas into a masterpiece? Can a machine write a symphony?" Sonny replies, "Can you?"- Not every human is capable of creating a work of art, but we are able to enjoy it.

Our ID (inner desires) can be a way to classify us as human. This is what we want, more than anything else in the world. Total bliss to us. This can be related to us as caveman days, where we did what we wanted when we wanted to do it. If we saw a piece of meat we wanted, we could club the guy eating it, and take it for ourselves. Our ID is our primal instincts, which is how most animals already act upon anyway. What makes us human with our ID, is our control over the ID. With out that control, We could do whatever we wanted and be completely primal again.

Freewill- We can do anything we want, but we think of the consequences before hand. Most humans would classify throwing rocks at a lion pride to be a very bad idea. But throwing rocks at a tree is better. The tree wont do anything but stand there, but the lions will maul you. We CAN do what we want, but our ability to control ourselves and make logical and emotional decisions of consequences is what makes this a human trait.

Humans tend to reason emotionally and logically. Thinking with your mind, and with your emotions. An example of to explain this would be: You have two candidates to fill one job. One guy has lots of experience, and is a great model employee, and the other has a little experience, and has a bad habit of being late. Logic says to go with the Experienced model employee, but emotional reasoning says to go with the less experienced late guy because he is your nephew's friend... We are the only species that does this. Animals go on instinct,

THIS Generation is F****D.

Are you inconsiderate? A douche? Or an inconsiderate douche?

If you pull up behind someone who is facing a wall of moving cars and honk at them...
You are an inconsiderate douche.

If you weave through traffic going 65 in a 45 zone, causing a delivery truck, an 18 wheeler, and 3-4 cars to hit their brakes because you didn't signal across 3 lanes of traffic...
You are a MAJOR inconsiderate douche bag in a disgusting, disease infested elderly hooker's ass... and Fuck you.

If you drive and do not signal...
You are inconsiderate.

If you put fliers on peoples windshields to come to your business...
Not only are you inconsiderate, but i have the right mind to collect every one of those fliers, and empty the bag on that business's front door with another note on the door that says "How do you like it?"

That would make me a douche.

It really sucks how so many people treat others like they don't matter. In a line, in the cars... More people are selfish, and its sickening. If they were hungry because they haven't eaten lunch yet, I'd bet several people would take a kid's lunch box.

Because in their mind, the only person that matters is themselves. Selfish bastards don't care about hurting anyone, or risking lives, just as long as they get their way, they are 'happy'.
Every time some pushy asshole pulls up behind me and honks for me to drive into oncoming traffic, I want to throw it in park. Let them wait and make an ass of themselves.
Nothing is more important to them to get to their apartment, because it will be gone in 15 seconds. uh, no? As I'm in park now, "oh, dang. I stalled. Guess you gotta go around." Then let that dickhead drive into oncoming traffic and get hit. Hahahaa!
If captain asshole wants to persist honking, and decides hes to good to go around, or wait 15-20 seconds, I have another solution...
Put in park, get out my box cutter and slash his tires. OMG! hes getting out! Nope, got a prop gun i pull out. Now HE'S pissed his pants. I am triumphant.
He is embarrassed as hell on the road, and has to change a tire in traffic with piss all over him.
Bet he won't do THAT again.
I hate being like that, but some fuckers will never learn until the extreme happens to them. Like what seems to be a life or death situation.

Take Fight Club for example. The kid in the back of the convenience store? Raymond? Wanted to be a vet. Tyler scared the hell out of him, but it opened his eyes.
"Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of Raymond's life. His breakfast will taste better than any meal you and I have ever tasted."

This guy will have a new look on life seeing as he almost lost his own from being so inconsiderate of others' lives.

Then again, it most likely wont end up that way, because that's not my luck. With my luck it would be a big mo fo in a big truck who also happens to be a war veteran.
And ill be dead in the road. Yahooo...

Point still remains, we as people must take others into consideration, and work with it out of humanity, not law, not anything else. For the sake of humanity.

I get it. Its your freedom to say what you want in public, to put bad words on your car, or a big pair of chrome testicles from your big "monster truck" looking truck....

That makes you look like a douche. The balls on your truck... You don't think kids in their car seats are asking their parents what that is? And what "fuck" means? You tainted youth asshole.
Your big truck of yours tells everyone how small your pe-pe is... So now you want everyone to see your over compensated chrome balls too? Now we KNOW your insecure, and your truck has MUCH bigger balls than you do. You thought those big shiny balls you bought were going to prove to everyone you have balls? Nope. We know where they are, and they aren't in your pants.
You are a Douche.

The swearing sticker? The piss on _____ decals?
Inconsiderate.

Driving with your brights on ALL THE TIME.
Inconsiderate.

It IS your freedom. You CAN. Still, you shouldn't be inconsiderate, and make everyone else miserable just for yourself.
Like those people who leave their home country, to here. and expect us to change to fit their needs. Uh, no... You left your country, you came to a new one, YOU learn English. YOU accustom to US. WE are the land of the free, and YOU are welcome to it, but don't cry about how different our country is from yours and expect us to change into the very thing you left. I hate my landlord, but i just deal with it. I cant cry until they give me free rent, they will kick me out before free rent will happen.

Expect others to do your job for you?
Inconsiderate douche.

When someone asks a serious question and you give a smartass remark trying to be funny...
That is inconsiderate. Makes you look like a douche. And an attention whore, so dont get pissy when this happens:
"Oh I get it. It's just not funny."

Crying to get your way. Pathetic.
Complaining is the only way to get anything done.
This can easily flow with parenting methods....
If we cry to the government enough they change what we wanted them to change- But when we NEED it to be changed and tell them NO, they cry about it and do what they want anyway. Both sides can be seen as immature children. But they know they have power over us, and what they say goes. Like when our parents used to say "because i said so, that's why." If we said that to THEM we'd get a pop on the face. That's what they are doing.
Now that we more parents- and ALL of which are afraid of having to discipline their kids in ANY WAY, we have kids running rampant like wolves... And over crowded prisons. More spanks would be teaching kids some respect for their elders. By telling the kids no, they eventually understand they cant ALWAYS get what they want.
When I tell my boys "no" and they cry about it, i sit there and stare at them until they stop and look at me to see if I'm buying it. Then I ask "You done?"--- It's over.
If it continues, ill cry LIKE them, WITH them. So they see how ridiculous their tantrum looks. They stop soon after i start crying "Waaaaa! I want a raise! I don't WANNA go to work! WAAA!"
They look at me like I'm nuts, and maybe I am. But I can guarantee they see the creature they created, and they don't like it.
By not raising your kids properly, to show respect to others, and treat people AS people, and not less than...
It is inconsiderate to the rest of the generation having to put up with them as an inconsiderate douche co-worker, or a wife and kid-beating prick. Do humanity a favor and raise your kids right, or don't have kids at all. You had an oopsie? Shouldn't have had sex then. Don't have sex until you are ready to have a kid- we also tend to have forgotten the primary reason for sex is reproduction. If you don't want to reproduce, don't have sex... Or tie your tubes, get a vasectomy, whatever... Just DON'T REPRODUCE. Those parents are too lazy and selfish to raise a child properly, teach them morals, and right from wrong- should not have had kids.
Just thinking this actually...
Don't bring another human being into this world until you know how to treat another human being LIKE a human being.

I read an article of razor blades stuck to playground equipment.
Sick. Ass. Fuckers.

THIS is the generation your raising people...
THIS is the generation who's parents fear to discipline their kids.
THIS is the generation who leaves their kids in a car seat in another room with one bottle for a month... THIS is the generation who microwaves their baby to get back at their 'baby daddy'.
THIS is the generation that shoots babies in the face while helplessly sitting in the stroller.
THIS is the generation that will be in congress, president, managers, teachers, cops, EMT's fire fighters and all other people running our society????

Think about that. Let it sink in.

Which are you more afraid of.....
Spanking your kids? Or the future humanity has if you don't?