Birthday Month

I call this Birthday Month because my wife's birthday, second son's and mine are all in this month...

As i have mentioned before, my birthday isn't a day i look forward to.
When I was young, like 9 or 10, a friend of mine drowned at my swimming party.

As many times as I have heard how it wasn't my fault, I can't help but to feel it partly is.

It comes and goes like a cold. The thought, and images replay in my head like a horror movie, and i can't stop them. They come more often this month.

I feel i have come to hate my birthday so much I refuse to even celebrate it. I dont want a dinner, a cake, or even presents. I just want my solitude. To just be alone.
Everyone insists on celebrating it, so I never really get my birthday wish.  I had a thought this year that seems more possible to help with this hole in the year.

Maybe I should go visit him on that day. Talk to him. He has been waiting for a long time... the last time I saw him was when I was about to join the Marines, so 17? 18? I'm not sure anymore. I went to him and told him I wanted to live my life for the both of us and join the services. After I raid it out loud, it sounded ridiculous. I could die, and I'm intending to live two lives? Well, obviously, i didn't go into the services, I failed the tests because I had a nasty migraine because I had to be off medications, which the result is just that. Never tried again, never got called back to try again.

Well, I have kept a part of that promise true, by living my life. I haven't entirely lived for him, but with having a family and all, it scares me that the same thing could happen to one of my boys. I wouldnt wish this feeling on anyone. Not even an enemy. The Idea of it hurts. I dont want to get that call... I also don't want to be the one to make that call. That a child of yours, who you loved with all of your being, whom you fed and kissed goodnight, and changed them and sang them to sleep as a baby. The little one who was getting the hang of his math homework, and made the honor roll will not be sleeping in his bed ever again. Will never have another meal with again. Will NEVER hear those words that make being a parent all worth it. "I love you".

Any parent would break at the idea of never seeing their child again.
What to do? Everything reminds me of my kids. They remind me of how simple things used to be, and they are so lucky in so many ways. When they say ignorance is bliss, Look at your children. Most of them only know happiness and love. They don't understand jobs, money, death, politics... Or science for that matter. They want to know about toys games and anything fun. The simplest things can entertain a child for hours. To us, its a box. To them, it's a house, then a car, then a spaceship, then a time machine that can turn into all the above.
They dont need to know about passing away. They want to be happy, let them be happy. It is only one life to live, and we dont want to waste it being unhappy, and fearing the end of our life which we know will happen eventualy.
It may happen sooner than later, so be happy. Let your kids be happy. if they do go soon. At least the life they had was a happy one.
No parent should have to bury their own child.

There had been times between that birthday, and this one where I had wished it were me instead. The pain would have been spared from his family, but placed onto mine. I can't say I'd rather it were me then. But, I still don't want it to be his family either. To remove the pain from his, would to give it to another, because someone has to bear the pain for the sake of others. Their son could have been graduated at the top of his class as a medical student. A great Lawyer, or police officer who saved more lives than he could count... Or, it could have happened another way. Drive by, drug overdose... I doubt those, but it wasn't impossible. A good person was buried. He did not deserve to go. Not yet. But for some reason it was his time. When I saw him in school, I didn't see color, religion, or even social status. I saw a friendly face, and a good heart. That is what drew me to him to be his friend.

I am told over and over how it wasn't my fault, but i remember the scene. I could have done something, helped him call for an adult... Anything.

I was talking to my cousin about something. "L" fell in, I'm assuming, seeing as my back was turned. And my cousin pointed out he was splashing about and looked like he needed help. I turned, and mentioned that he liked to goof around like that, and continued what i was saying...
I remember my cousin trying to move a floating noodle over to him to help...
Then the adults panicked to see him at the bottom.
Bits come back, and I see what i did wrong. I didn't drown him myself, but I didnt help him either, which kind of makes me feel responsible. I can only imagine what his last thoughts were. "why aren't they helping me? I wish my momma was here, I am so scared, I can't swim. Why isn't my friend helping me? I trusted you..."
He must have been terrified- unable to breathe, panicked, feeling like the end is closer than rescue.


He may not haunt me. But it feels like he does in a way. He must have been at peace, or he would have made his presence known right?
as much as I think about it, the worse I feel. I don't want to forget...

If I hear another person tell me that I am not at any fault, I'm telling you are wrong. I still feel it. Words from the living are not going to change the way I feel about the dead's passing. I bring myself to tears when thinking long and hard enough. as I stated before, it comes and goes. Like a cold. Some times its bad, and others its like the flu.
No one but him can tell me I am not at fault. That will be hard for him to say right now. I haven't been able to express this accurately until lately. Your words will not change anything. His words, may not even do it.
When I feel responsible for someone's pain... It sticks with me like a pin in my hip. It's not going anywhere. It sits inside me and festers. I feel sad, almost every day when reflecting on what i have done. I may have said something rude, and you think its no big deal. to me... its like stealing from them.

Others may be able to let it go, and forgive and forget. I don't want to forget, when I remember, I can't forgive myself.

I intend to have a film close to me dedicated to him upon it's completion. "RR-LB"

Everyone has problems

Everyone has problems,  sometimes they feel they need to talk about it. Sometimes when they do talk about it, they talk to the listener as if they are someone who is responsible for the problem. I understand why, and it doesn't bother me. I consider it to be a type of role play.
You will play you, and I will play the asshole you are pissed off at.... And ACTION!
The message comes out to me but it wont be coming out to the person who needs to hear it. But now, atleast you got out some of the anger and verbal agression that could cause more conflict, and now that it has bee "rehearsed" you can sum it up into less and less hurtful words and disscuss it like adults later when the heat isn't at the boiling point. But, some topics are just not easy to talk about under any surcamstances. Some topics are just an instant switch from good mood to bad mood. For me, It's religion. I don't like to talk about it, and I don't want to hear about it either. But, I respect that my families and friends beleive in what they want, and I will not try to sway them to or from it. It works for some, but I feel it doesn't work for me. If I can respect you in your beleifs, I'd expect you to respect me with mine. That's the Short, generic version.

Anyway, I do hate to see people in trouble because its sad to see good people with such struggles. I'd love to help everyone, but unfortunatly it cant be done.
Some people don't want to talk about it, and that's cool too. I like to talk about things that bother me, and I'm one of those "Role play" types who take it out on the person im talking to. (Sorry by the way) But when no one is around, I use my webcam and let'er rip. I have had rants that went on for 45 minutes, and there were no interuptions, no questions, nothing. Just me venting and letting off some steam. It's better than keeping it bottled up and exploding on someone later who doesn't deserve that wrath.
Oh goodness. Fewer and fewer things are stopping me from smacking some people's faces for the things they do and say. My business is my business. Not anyone else's.

"Bring in the Clowns"

To get a little insight of my mindset:
When something has my boys in pain, I pretend to be a silly Doctor. There is a voice for different times of need, and sick, or pain comes this Doctor. He preforms zany operations with known tools but way-off names (like the dingle-hopper for example) the remedies are usually ridiculous and come with the same price. (fictionally of course) The point is, it makes them laugh, and the pain can subside for a moment, or longer. No parents want their child hurting, but we know very well it will happen.
They will bump their head, scrape their knee, catch a virus... it's inevitable. I know a little about pain. Much less than most people, but some.
When I was a young one, I got headaches and migraines a lot. Some felt as though a balloon were in my head. Sometimes I felt as though I were more of a burden to my parents during an episode. They never lashed out on me when i didn't make it to the bathroom in time. They understood. Which is a reason to understand the headaches my boys have, and when they "Blech", yes it's a smelly nasty mess, but these things happen. I sympathize with them about it because I know the feeling all to well.
I wouldn't have minded a silly make-beleive doctor giving me some goofy remedies for a headache... I kind of think, by keeping a sad, funky feeling person in the same mood, it feels like more of a pity party. Well, I say "Bring in the Clowns"
Only one person needs to be sad to bring in the rest of the household into feeling the same way. So, I, like the clowns, put on the fake smile to lift the mood of others, including the sick. As if to say that it happens, and there is no shame in it. Get well soon.

Maybe to a point... It can help rid a fear of the pain we may come to. We fear death, we cry about death, and no one shows up to a funeral as a clown. Very few feel comfortable telling a few jokes at one either. I suppose it is seen as disrespectful to the deceased.
We need time to mourn over our loss. I understand that. But would you want the last thing you hear in your life to be sad, or happy? Last thoughts, sad or happy? I'd want to hear something funny before i expire. I'd like to leave with a happy thought with my boys laughing with me and my wife. Not leave with the pain I'm leaving them in. Not like that.
Die happy, and live happy. Life is to damn short to mope around and feel sorry for yourself, or other people. Help people, yes cheering up is almost always needed when someone is down. But their are those times we do need to be alone with our thoughts. Those happy times we remember lift us up. Some people are those of solitude. I know I am. Others like to be around people in the time of loss. Not me. I don't like to hear all the sad "dead" talk. It's like trying to give a drink of water to a drowning cat. (Fuel on the fire) "They are in a better place"... I hear it every time. It's supposed to make me feel better? If they are someplace better, i kind of want to be there with them ya know? ( i know what that sounds like, but your wrong) They arent here anymore, and no one wants to get up on the mic and say something like "Looks like His wife will never have to worry about going limp again! Ba-dum-ching! Good bye Viagra, right?"
I'd crack a smile because maybe there is some truth to it. I wouldn't mind hearing a wise-ass remark before my soul moved on. No need to hear the "He was a good man, bla bla bla" Everyone is a good person after they die. They cant do anything now... If i was an ass hole, get up for a eulogy and say "Micah was an asshole. He was a weirdo, with a lot of crazy ideas. But dammit he gave a shit." I'd get it. So I wasnt perfect. Who is? I know im gonna mess up, we all do. I learn from my mistakes just like most others.

A smile can do more help than damage. A laugh has ability to heal by lifting the spirits (among other medical reasons) There shouldnt be any occasion where a joke isn't welcome.

Santa Claus Magic + Some

Santa Clause. So many kids believe in him as a magical man who wears a red suit, drives a magic reindeer pulled sleigh, and delivers toys to kids on Christmas that his magic elves made for the good girls and boys.
Now I don't like the lies we (as adults) tell our kids when it comes to this. It seems wrong. But i suppose in a way it isn't a FULL lie.
Santa did exist a long time ago, and from what I gathered was he made small toys out of wood and gave them to the kids in nearby towns on Christmas. There's movies on it, and you can bet there are books too. So, its us continuing his tradition of giving, and knowing if our kids are being good or not. The spirit in which we give IS the SPIRIT of Santa. (In a sense). The magic is something that relates to a child, telling them that anything is possible. I mean, if reindeer can fly across the world in one night, what else can be possible? ANYTHING. In a child's mind, everything is real, anything is real. They can fly, be super heroes, be rock stars, build a robot out of Lego's, the stars aren't even the limit here. Meeting aliens and teaching them our earthican language and history? In the mind of a child, it's what he has scheduled after lunch. Catching a ghost with a blanket and flashlight? Only after dark- in a child's mind. They bang on pots, and buckets with spoons... in their head they are on their second encore with the Wiggles in Madison Square, Live on TV. Doesn't make sense? Neither do half the things they do, say, or believe in. But its all clear to them. No divisions, no nay-say, no limits. It is, what it is in their mind. Color isn't an issue, unless they are taught to think it is. If any child grows up hearing they will never amount to anything... They wont. Keeping a child's imagination within the realm of "reality" is a shameful waste.
Who would you talk to about buying a car? Someone who knows about cars right? How bout some new recipes? You ask someone who's a good cook. Where do you get Ideas for toys? Ask the experts on toys... The kids. Let their imagination go nuts for now, and we jot down (what we understand) and bring it to our (adult) realm of thinking, and create the toy they want and need. Which keeping adults as ideas for toys, is always that limit unless you have that right child-minded adult who can still think in the realm of a child. Could be why a lot of toys now suck.

Well, anyway.
I was older than I should have been when my mom told me about Santa. Granted, I was upset, and cried about it for a while. I felt like magic was taken from me that day. Everything I believed in was a lie. But its not true... I believed in something based on truth, but exaggerated from someone who had the unique child-like mind set. I believe in magic today. I believe in Santa (a form of, anyway) If i didn't have my beliefs in the possibility of magic, super powers, creatures of other origin- I wouldn't have near as much fun with my kids as i do. I like to encourage the silly and absurd. Let the kids use their imagination, make up something nutty and i can make it (seemingly) legit after I record it. Like a wizard skit, my oldest had a straw he called his magic wand. Idea! Had him and his mommy have a wizard's duel. It came out looking pretty cool.
No one should be told that something is impossible, but it happens all the time. Its a limit that gets put in our heads that stops our "out of the box" thinking. it Stops new ideas.

Believing in a lot of that stuff starts with Santa, tooth fairy, and the Easter Bunny. Its magic to us as kids, and its fun. Take the magic away too soon, those kids stay grounded, but doesn't see anything past logic and physics. Which, isn't always bad. But it may not be who they wanted to be.

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***Touchy Subject Warning*** Topic: Religion*** Read @ Your own Risk***
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Here's something else to ponder about...
When Santa (etc) was taught to us as kids, as well as God... Then find out that 3 of 4 are actually made up, Where did you think your credibility was gonna go for the fourth one? That would imply we adults tell the truth 25% of the time. So why do we as kids need to tell the truth 100% of the time?
As far as the big G goes... It's another form of magic. Called Science.
Anything and everything can be scientifically proven or explained. The creation of the universe, evolution, water cycles, flight...
"Someone" knew we would look for answers to our questions of where we live, and curiosity of places we don't. Something had to be done to "prove it", so it was scientifically created.
Evolution. Adam and Eve? Perhaps, on a "test" planet. Made Adam, and thought he was pretty cool. Then made woman, and the serpent came... you know the story about the garden of Eden. It very well could have been another planet. Or an alternate universe. Have we found evidence of A&E existing? No. Evolution though, yes. One thing could have happened was the Neanderthals, finally evolved to, as bible refers to as A&E, but were fully aware they were nude, which could mean the alternate test planet was possible, and now, Homo sapien is here. If A&E were the first two humans on Earth, well... Let's just say we wouldn't be so intelligent right now. (If you don't get it, its probably for the best) I'd rather be an evolved form of Ape than brothers and sisters hooking up.

I know my head is conflicted with my firm magic/science combo platter way of thinking, but it makes sense in my mind, and that's what matters about it all. I feel obligated to say that I am not putting this up in order to sway you one way or the other, I'm not spitting on your believes or your way of thinking. I'm not telling you your wrong, nor am I saying I am right. What I am saying is this is my opinion. This is what I have to say about this topic, right now. And if you don't like what I had to say, then all I can tell you is "Oh well. I warned you. Have a nice day."

Fast Food Vent

I know a lot of people eat fast food.
And I also know I have mentioned this before.
Take into consideration that there is a human being making your order. Regardless of how hungry you are, when or how you order it, a person is back there making it. Now, take into consideration that this person may have woke up at 4:30 am, with only a few hours of sleep for whatever reason. Maybe this person hasn't eaten anything yet today. Every order someone makes stops them from eating the cold scraps they can find. Notice I said SCRAPS. This person does not get a break, nor do they get a meal without paying for it. It would be okay, but they just might have used their last bit of money to get diapers for the child they are supporting. This person could also have a history of digestive system issues, such as stomach ulcers, ulcerative colitis, hemorrhoids, etc... So not being able to eat allows the stomach acid level to increase and eat the lining of the stomach. (aka stomach ulcers) This could lead to days out of work eventually, and this person loses money.
Or, maybe it isn't so bad. Maybe they are just trying to get all the prep and clean-up done before the next crew comes in, because their spouse needs to be at work less than an hour after they were SUPPOSED to leave, and there is one car, and two kids to look after. By coming in and ordering massive amounts of artery-clogging garbage, they have to stay late to finish their job, and their spouse will be late, which can get them fired, which strains their finances...
See where I'm going with this?
You may be thinking "Gee, this guy just hates the customers!" And you are mostly wrong. I dislike many customers, because they come off as ignorant and lazy. Not only that but they always seem to come at the wrong times. That isn't their fault, and i get that. I also understand that without the customer, there is no business and i don't make money. There are customers that come often who have special requests, and when I have the time I really don't mind it at all. So, in sense, I love my customers. I greatly appreciate their business.
I would just love for some of them to try to remember how to use a toaster for their poptarts.

If you read this rant till now....
Bless you, and thank you for allowing the vent session.

Flying Solo

Lately, I have been aching to do some videos and such.
People all have lives, and i get that. All im asking is a little cooperation. When you say you will help, i expect it. It looks as though no one cares enough to say or do anything to help.
So, im flying solo. I cannot motivate them apparently, and it looks as though my film-career is a bust. I have like 17 ppl in the SETXPFM group and 2 or 3 respond to anything. Even when i tag them. Im looking for talent, and no one wants to help. I have to do all of this PRE pro, which i don't mind, but when i ask for help, and they say they will, i'm expecting help damnit.

I cant seem to get anything going here for me, and it blows. It has become an expensive hobby. I still do Sonic. I open now. 5 am to 11am. my 2 days off, the mrs works. Imagine the schedule conflicts i already have on that, much less adding another person's to the equation.

Next, it's like Im expected to do it for free. What the hell, am i a charity who donates my time for a production with little reward except a pat on the back and a "Thanks"?
I cant spend "Thanks". "Thanks" won't put gas in my car, pay my electricity, and help make up lost time on other projects and my family. If i have a job that pays, and a job that doesn't, which job do you think im gonna take bro? Food is at least a start. Work long and hard hours for no money, at least feed them. Its the LEAST you could do. So, what seems to be expected is everyone is to donate their own gas money, time and efforts to a project we see little benefit from. The only way i can get anyone a little motivated is offer some cash. Im taking gas into consideration as well as time off from work. At this point, it looks like the only one saving up for it is me. My money going to someone elses production. Sorry. Not unless you chip in to homie. And even then, ill be getting producer credits, and since i wrote the script (twice) and intend to cast, shoot, edit, and vfx it... I think its safe to say a lot of my efforts will be going into this and I expect some recognition for it, so if it has to be producer credit because my money was the only money that went into it, then so be it. I tell you what. You want this thing off the ground? Cast it, and collect a budget. How? I dont care. Fund raiser? Sell lemonade, cookies, odd-jobs for neighbors- think like you really want this to happen and you will do what it takes to ensure it does. Ill be putting my money where i see fit.

I want to do this doritos crash the bowl thing, and we have a few ideas, and some people want to do it, others don't. The ones who do get tied between two ideas. I can't do this on my own. The only help i can rely on is my 6-year old son as a DA/Actor, and Wife as a Wrangler/Crafts/DA/Actress/Secondary Camera Op.

I cant crap something awesome without given someone or something to work with. If you want to shoot something, meet me halfway, and be sure you want to do the project. if you have any doubts, lets hash them out and find what will work. Dont back out on me when it comes time. The "I forgot" excuse is old as time itself.
I'm not a miracle worker, you have to pull your share of the load, and if i give you a role to do, like casting, or writing something i can work with, I expect it to get done, and i expect updates. Its getting me all pissy that this keeps happening.

People thinking this is just something fun to do when ever they want. Well, yeah, i suppose it can be seen that way, but when you tell me your all in... It becomes a job. Thats what this needs to be for me. A Career. Not a hobby. A CAREER. I need to be able to pay bills and loans with this income i bring with this. When I don't have a reliable team, it makes it impossible.
So these people who expect me to do this shit for free, or an EXTREMELY discounted price to where its hardly worth the time, and those who wont meet me halfway on anything, or if you think any part of this post was directed to you in anyway, I say this to you:::

"Thanks for crushing my dreams of being a VFX artist and sentencing me to paying off thousands of dollars of school loan debt while working fast food the rest of my life.
P.s. You Suck.
-Micah"

"TEAMWORK"- a work related rant.

Ok. When you work ANYWHERE theres always a form of team work involved. When someone is not doing their share of the workload, the load falls on someone else, making their job a little harder. When ten people do half their jobs, someone else has to work 3.5 times harder picking up the slack, and the more one person has to do, the thinner they are trying to spread themselves, the job has to be done quickly, or even half-ass. Then someone has to go behind them, and THEY are seen as lazy and sloppy.
None of it is fair, damnit. Im gonna say this shit how i want to, and if theres a problem, oh well.

It isnt fair, that im told im slow, and that i need to speed up, by someone who isnt calling things out. Im only one person in the kitchen for 6 hours damnit, and i'm supposed to handle 300+ orders on my own without you calling out anything? With the stalls, I hear the loud beeps, so i know to keep an eye on the screen, but with drive thru being on a headset, i cant hear anything. Im doing tomatoes, or bacon, dishes, onions, whatever... and i look on the screen, theres an order that has a minute and a half on it already. Nothing cooking. Last week, i made a point to say something to her about calling shit out.... I got a headset of my own, so i know whats coming in drive thru, if anything. I made a point of showing her. Before that, i asked her to call it out. She round-about said "Sheah, right. Like that's gonna happen." So then... I got the headset, which was my way of giving her the finger nicely.
And lets not forget, that they also want me to bag the shit? Okay, so let me get this straight..... I have to prep for the day, make several orders ALONE for 6 hours, with a manager who comes in and saves the day by getting out a single tot, clean up, and bag your shit so you and the other two people up front can make a few drinks, and you can stick your self out the window and chat it up with a customer in the window? Why are you getting paid more than me? Why are you a manager? You make your wage AND TIPS. You get a free meal for fucks sake. I dont. I have to buy my food. its half price, but I DONT HAVE CASH for that. Guess who does? Those who get tips. So... Cooks are immune to hunger?
To break it down, I'm expected to be lightning fast, read minds, and be immune to hunger... Wonder why so many of us have health issues? Stroke? Heart problems? Stomach Ulcers?

Here. I'll explain that.
Stroke, and heart problems.... Managers with free meals.
Stomach Ulcers... Cooks withOUT free meals.

Poof.
Look. not all cooks get them... Just the honest ones do. The honest ones who choose NOT to steal from their employer. The rest eat whatever, whenever they feel like. And its hard to stay honest when your health takes a dive, and the ones who steal aren't being punished. No consequences, no problem. So I eat little things here and there to keep the stomach pains at bay. Sometimes a full sandwich.
Its total bullshit... One free meal for cooks with a 6+ hour shift. Thats all we want damnit. If we rang it up, it wouldnt be stealing, and the computer counts it, so food cost goes down.
Food cost is high because of one manager specifically who makes food for themselves, and family of like, 3 or 4 people on a regular basis. Lets also not forget when other Hops come in and make their own stuff and not ring it up. Why am i being punished for doing the right thing? It makes no sense, and I'm running out of reasons to stay honest, and be a good employee here. I shouldnt have to pull so much of other lazy ass'es slack to make their job easier, when it makes mine harder. I should WANT to help them out. "Oh, hey, let me bag that sense your busy..." Not ... "Tray 3...." *looks around; one is on their phone, one is leaning out the window BS'ng with customer, and number 3 is nowhere to be found... "Okaaaay... I guess I"LL get it, sense everyone else is SO DAMN BUSY." bag, put it on Drive-thru table. "Tray 3..." she Doesnt budge... *throws hands in the air and scoffs* Lazy ass fucks...

The best manager there has been marked as the devil incarnate or something, a total black sheep to "The Family" What ever he says, they do the opposite. She plays favorites, gives out free food to her family (as stated earlier) and the night kitchen has no idea how to train a new employee, stock, or clean without her there... its sad. He's marked as the asshole for telling them to do their jobs. He only works one day out of the week, and hes still the one manager who gives a damn enough to BE the asshole. He is running out of fucks to give at this place. Hes been considering throwing in the towel, and say "fuck it. I'm out." I dont blame him. The only thing keeping me here is the paycheck. I stopped caring like, 6 years ago. I got a family... wife kids. They need me to work the shit job to get the shit money to pay for the shit we need to shit. (you know what i mean) So, I'm stuck. I want out of fastfood. Have wanted out for 7 years now. It blows.... I have a degree in film and video production, then move to a town where it's LITERALLY useless. All i can do is TV/news stuff (which will be a big difference from film) and do the jobs that no one else wants- the "untouchables" Weddings, birthdays, graduations--- the jobs no one wants to do because of the "one chance to make it or break it" mindset.

Well i shot my first (professional) wedding last saturday. I think it went very well. It didnt stress me out as much as I was expecting- Well, one point before it, before we left for the job someone had some unpleasant things to say which pissed me off to a point of... (nvm) Well, it threw off the good vibes i was having, and the "Mojo" I had going on. Feelin' good, im ready, were set, turn the lights on and lets shoot this thing! "Kick the tires and light the fires big daddy!" and then- O_o wTf?!
Luckily while waiting for the ceremony to start, I was able to calm down and try to re-work the Mojo. Shooting some B-roll helped calm my nerves, and ease the tension. Some nice footage too, I saw mine and Stacie's but as far as camera 3's stuff... havent seen it yet, i dont even have it. Idk how long i should wait for it before i call him about it, and idk when the bride wants the video to be done by.... I sure as hell won't be calling or txting her on her honeymoon. I'd be pissed off if I got a business related message during that time.

So thats what my degree is going to... Side jobs and fun stuff on the side.
Expensive hobby, too. Yay me. I was so smart getting this degree. I cant even afford the minimum payments on the student loans when it comes due.
What the fuck am I going to do....
Tv and film are not the same.
Do you kick a soccer ball on a hockey rink? Or shoot hoops with a catchers' mitt?
"Tv, movies, same thing... " No. not really. Same game, different ball.