My Motto-

"See thy canvas, understand thy medium, know thy inspiration, love thy creation."

In my mind means this:

See thy canvas - find the canvas of which you see your work on, where it be a wall, a body, a freeway overpass, or simple paper. You have to 'see' the possibilities of the canvas can hold before the work has begun.

Understand thy medium - You have to understand the possibilities of the medium your using, paint, ice, pastels, a camera, or crayons. You have to know what your medium is capable of doing before you can do it.

Know thy inspiration - Your inspiration is important to your work. Without an inspiration, the work would not exist in the soul, heart, mind, nor on canvas. It could be a loved one, a sunset, or an empty field of grain. Every person is difrent, just like every animal, every snowflake, and every work of art. Every work has a diffrent inspiration.

Love thy creation - When the proper emotion is put into the work; the right inspiration, the right medium, and the right canvas, it all shows within the creation. In your eyes it may be a painting thats pretty good. Others may see brilliance. Others will share the emotion you had as you were working on it, or even inspire them to create something of their own. This creation is like a child, you made it, you helped it to become as is - a well rounded work, a masterpiece. When you put forth the love, the care, the time, you truly come to love the masterpiece you have created.

Not my Day

This morning my temper has been short. I have no patience for much of anything. My alarm clock this morning was one of the carpoolers knocking on my front door. Last night my boy kept crying, seemingly without reason. So i had little sleep. His crying continued this morning, it was making me mad, but I still kept it together. We and the carpoolers piled in the car. Their was somone blocking the road, and i like to lost it. I turned around and started yelling and swearing, the poolers fell silent. I dont know exactly why that set me off. If someone would have honked at me while still or given me a problem, im almost sure i would have hurt them and/or slash their tires. Maybe. Again. NOT a good day for me.

Freedom Isn't Free

I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG, OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA , AND TO THE REPUBLIC FOR WHICH IT STANDS, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, INDIVISIBLE, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL! If Muslims can pray in Madison Avenue, why are Christians banned from praying in public and erecting religious displays on their holy days? I was asked to send this on if I agree, or delete if I don't. It is said that 86% of Americans believe in God. Therefore I have a very hard time understanding why there is such a problem in having 'In God! We Trust' on our money and having 'God' in the Pledge of Allegiance. I believe it's time we stand up for what we believe!

Classes

Im in my second semester now, and im thrilled to say I am taking a photography class, a digital imaging class (aka Photoshop) and College English. I like taking photos, I like to play with them, (just have to get familiar with the software) and I speak one of my classes, so it should be fairly easy. I didnt realize untill yesterday how much I like doing camera work. I personaly think im alright at it. Some one told me that my shots are better than his. Im not one to be the judge of that though.

Somthing Amazing Happened

We went to Walmart to get a new battery for the jeep. I have some trouble, and it looked grim. A man walks up and offers his assistance. He went inside, bought some tools I didnt have and we got the battery replaced. He told me to keep the tools, and handed the Mrs. cash to get somthing on the Jeep checked out. . . I turned to thank him- He was gone. I truly belive that he was a form of God to assist us- A reminder that there is still goodness in the world. Thank you God for sending the generous man to our rescue. Please send him our prayers, and bless him-

I posted that on my fb account.
What I didnt put was the problems i were having with the bolts were one broke off with the nut cause it was rusted so badly. the other bolt wouldnt budge, and none of my sockets or wrenches would fit the nut. The man tried a hammer, alan wrench, and my cresent wrench. Nothing worked. Thats when he went inside and got some pliers, and it came right off "The right tool for the right job" he said. We finished instaling the new battery and the jeep cranked right up. He suggested I have the hookups ,(he said a diffrent word but i cant remember what it was) checked out, cause at least one will have to be replaced. I put my tools back in the case, he told me I could keep the tools he just bought. . .he talked to Stacie, we thanked him and he went on about his way. Stacie looked down, as if to tell me to look there. she had cash rolled up in her hand- He had given it to her! I turned to thank him but he was gone- almost like a ninja "now you see me, now you dont" type of thing. What else baffled me was that on his way into the store, he offered his help- he went in to get the tools that he let me have- then went back to his car. It would seem that he somehow "knew" that somone needed a hand at that place at that time. I thought about it only for a moment, and I couldnt help to cry tears of joy. I had thought the world had gone all bad- - -untill today. This man has given me a light at the end of the tunnel so to speak. There still is some good in the world. and what goes around does come around. The good lord is watching, and has a guardian angel for us all.

Earlier today after audition for a part, i helped the director out with the people auditioning outside the room - no charge of course. I chatted with a few of those who tried out for parts- When it was time for me to go, the car battery was dead. I asked a man in a car for a jump, but i didnt notice he and others were filming- OOPS! While waiting i noticed a lady walk out and get into a car right behind me, so i asked her for a jump, and she agreed. She was terrified to even touch the cables! She gave me a jump, i thanked her, she went about her bussiness- another "Guardian Angel" I suppose?

I just hope the things I do will make somone else's day just as the two Angels did for us today.
Thank you Angels, and Thank you God for sending them to us!
Bess them both!

Homesick

Last night, Kai wanted to watch the movie i made for the family last year on christmas. and it reminded me of home so much, im more homesick than i was before. Especialy when pics of my family came up. I miss them all. I miss my Dad, his welcoming into his home, always has somthing cooking in the kitchen, sugar ray barking his head off and slobbering everywere. It may sound silly, but most things i go by in my life have to do with smell. The smell of rain, refineries, dogs, people, food. So many new smells, and so many that remind me of home. if Home is where the heart is, then i must have two hearts. I miss my mother to, my sister, My grand parents, my uncles, and aunts, cousins, my siblings, i miss everyone back home in texas. If i had it my way, id move this school to beaumont, and go back home. Cause I love home, I wont miss this place.

Having Second Thoughts

Yesterday, a few things that the Mrs. and I were disscussing are very depressing. I wouldnt dare post this directly on face book, but post it for any of those who WANT to know whats on my mind. Also, it would keep a lot of the online "i told ya so"'s off my back. in a nuttshell, we cannot afford to stay in AZ. I lost count of how many applications she has filled out and brought back and checked on. no luck. my job is 22 miles away, eating through gas, which is another expense rapidly increasing. my hours keep getting cut, i keep getting sent home early, making my checks smaller. im only pulling in about 8-$900 and all our bills come to well over that. we have applied for foodstaps 3 times and been denied twice and waiting on the 3rd. We are getting deeper into debt. the phone bill is 500$ for not paying ontime, if not paid in full by 6th, it gets cut off, our auto insurance may be canceled if 50 isnt paid by 15th, and we have a 200 carloan note due at the end of the month. we need MAJOR help without a second income, it puts us behind on a lot of bills, id like to finish school but if a job dosent come, or gov. help, or some mirical of major $$$ dosent happen, we will be forced to go home, or live on the streets- or both. Please God, I normally dont pray for anything, but please, I ask of you , help us.